论文部分内容阅读
2009年《时代》周刊做了一项民调“Walter Cronkite之后，谁是最受信赖的新闻主播”。排名第四的是一句话噎死佩林 （Sarah Palin） 的CBS时任新闻一姐Katie Couric，第三是ABC著名主持Charles Gibson，亚军是目前晚新闻收视第一的NBC Nightly News掌门人Brian Williams，冠军则是毕业于College of William and Mary的犹太青年——Jon Stewart。
中国观众则贴切地称他为“囧叔”。Jon Stewart的节目视频在微博 （weibo.com） 中的人气非常之高，以至有热心的英语达人不时更新带有中文字幕的作品，吸引了大批的追随者。
1999年，37岁的主持人新手Jon Stewart接手两岁多的晚间脱口秀节目The Daily Show。接下来的一年中，Jon在节目中展现了他对时事政治的专业解读和绝妙的讽刺才能，影响着近两百万观众（美国人口3.1亿强）。皮尤 （Pew） 2008年的一份调查研究显示，The Daily Show的受众仅有23%是50岁以上的人群，在这一点上，节目甚至超过了CNN、C-SPAN及FOX。
作为吸引最年轻观众的电视节目之一，从政客、当红演员到学者、作家，都无一例外地争相在节目中露面。Jon和英国前首相布莱尔 （Tony Blair） 针对全球化和区域化问题侃侃而谈；又就着茶和点心与时任巴基斯坦总统穆沙拉夫 （Pervez Musharraf） 聊起本 · 拉登 （Osama bin Laden） 的藏身之所；美国前副总统切尼 （Dick Cheney） 的夫人Lynne郑重地出席他的节目，带着电影《星球大战》中的达斯 · 维达 （Darth Vader） 像，解释说它可是切尼家里传了好几代的；红星安吉丽娜 · 朱莉 （Angelina Jolie） 来过，2008年的两位总统候选人奥巴马和麦凯恩也来过，参议员希拉里 （Hillary Clinton） 2008年在关键的得克萨斯和俄亥俄初选 （primary） 前夜，挤出时间通过卫星电视在节目中露面。
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart曾18次获得艾美奖（“黄金时段艾美奖最佳综艺/音乐/喜剧节目奖”2003～2012连续10年获奖，外加“最佳综艺/音乐/喜剧节目编剧奖”2001～2012年间共获奖8次）。Jon则两度主持奥斯卡金像奖颁奖典礼（第78届及第80届）。
2004年，Jon Stewart受邀回到母校威廉玛丽学院 （College of Williams and Mary） 做毕业典礼演讲，他一如既往的幽默讽刺，却又不失哲理，插科打诨后引人深思。该校著名校友还有美国第一任总统乔治 · 华盛顿 （George Washington） ，第三任总统托马斯 · 杰佛逊 （Thomas Jefferson），第五任总统詹姆斯 · 门罗 （James Monroe） 及第十任总统约翰 · 泰勒 （John Tylor） 等。
Thank you Mr. President， I had forgotten how crushingly dull these ceremonies are. （Laughter） Thank you.
My best to the choir. I have to say， that song never grows old for me. （Laughter） Whenever I hear that song， it reminds me… of nothing. （Laughter）
I am honored to be here， I do have a confession to make before we get going that I should explain very quickly. When I am not on television， this is actually how I dress. （Wearing a doctoral gown） I apologize， but there's something very freeing about it. I congratulate the students for being able to walk even a half a mile in this non-breathable fabric in the Williamsburg heat. （Cheers and laughter） I am sure the environment that now exists under your robes， are the same conditions that primordial life began on this earth. （Laughter）
I know there were some parents that were concerned about my speech here tonight， and I want to assure you that you will not hear any language that is not common at， say， a dock workers union meeting， or Tourrett's convention， or profanity seminar （Editor Note： All the three places mentioned are where the language is not common）. Rest assured. （Laughter）
I am honored to be here and to receive this honorary doctorate. When I think back to the people that have been in this position before me from Benjamin Franklin to Queen Noor of Jordan， I can't help but wonder what has happened to this place. （Laughter） Seriously， it saddens me. （Laughter） As a person， I am honored to get it； as an alumnus， I have to say I believe we can do better. （Laughter） And I believe we should. But it has always been a dream of mine to receive a doctorate and to know that today， without putting in any effort， I will. （Cheers and laughter） It's incredibly gratifying. Thank you. That's very nice of you， I appreciate it. I'm sure my fellow doctoral graduates—who have spent so long toiling in academia， sinking into debt， sacrificing God knows how many years of what， in truth， is a piece of parchment that in truth has been so devalued by our instant gratification culture as to have been rendered meaningless—will join in congratulating me. （Laughter） Thank you.
But today isn't about how my presence here devalues this fine institution. It is about you， the graduates. I'm honored to be here to congratulate you today. （Applause） Today is the day you enter into the real world， and I should give you a few pointers on what it is. It's actually not that different from the environment here. The biggest difference is you will now be paying for things， （laughter） and the real world is not surrounded by three-foot brick wall. And the real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks out of straw and water， those people are not colonial re-enactors—they are poor. （Laughter） Help them. And in the real world， there is not as much candle lighting. I don't really know what it is about this campus and candle lighting， but I wish it would stop. （Laughter） We only have so much wax， people. （Laughter）
Let's talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier， and I…I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world， and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don't really know to put this， so I'll be blunt. We broke it. （Laughter）
Please don't be mad. （Laughter） I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So， sorry. （Laughter）
I don't know if you've been following the news lately， but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire， we heard kind of a pinging noise， and uh， then the damn thing just died on us. （Laughter） So I apologize.
But here's the good news. You fix this thing， you're the next greatest generation， people. （Cheers and laughter） You do this—and I believe you can—you win this war on terror， and Tom Brokaw's kissing your ass from here to Tikrit， let me tell ya. （Laughter） And even if you don't， you're not gonna have much trouble surpassing my generation. If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and don't give the thumbs up you've outdid us.
We declared war on terror. We declared war on terror—it's not even a noun， so， good luck. After we defeat it， I'm sure we'll take on that bastard ennui. （Laughter） But obviously that's the world. What about your lives？ What piece of wisdom can I impart to you about my journey that will somehow ease your transition from college back to your parents' basement？ （Laughter）
I know some of you are nostalgic today and filled with excitement and perhaps uncertainty at what the future holds. I know six of you are trying to figure out how to make a bong out of your caps. （Laughter） I believe you are members of Psi U. （Cheers and laughter） Hey that did work， thank you for the reference. （Turn his head back to the committee on the stage）
So I thought I'd talk a little bit about my experience here at William and Mary. It was very long ago， and if you had been to William and Mary while I was here and found out that I would be the commencement speaker 20 years later， you would be somewhat surprised， and probably somewhat angry. （Laughter） I came to William and Mary because as a Jewish person I wanted to explore the rich tapestry of Judaica that is Southern Virginia. （Applause） Imagine my surprise when I realized “The Tribe” was not what I thought it meant. （Laughter）
In 1980 I was 17 years old. When I moved to Williamsburg， my hall was in the basement of Yates， which combined the cheerfulness of a bomb shelter with the prison-like comfort of the group shower. As a freshman I was quite a catch. Less than five feet tall， yet my head is the same size it is now. （Laughter） Didn't even really look like a head， it looked more like a container for a head. I looked like a Peanuts character. Peanuts characters had terrible acne. But what I lacked in looks I made up for with a repugnant personality. （Laughter） You could say that my one saving grace was academics where I excelled， but I did not. （Laughter）
And yet now I live in the rarified air of celebrity， of mega stardom. My life a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabala center brunches with the cast of Friends. （Laughter） At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.
So I know that the decisions that I made after college worked out. But at the time I didn't know that they would. See college is not necessarily predictive of your future success. And it's the kind of thing where the path that I chose obviously wouldn't work for you. For one， you're not very funny. （Laughter）
So how do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire？ And the honest answer is this. You won't. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience. I was not exceptional here， and am not now. I was mediocre here. And I'm not saying aim low. Not everybody can wander around in an alcoholic haze and then at 40 just， you know， decide to be president. You've got to really work hard to try to… （Laughter and constant cheers） I was actually referring to my father. （Laughter）
When I left William and Mary I was shell-shocked. Because when you're in college it's very clear what you have to do to succeed. And I imagine here everybody knows exactly the number of credits they needed to graduate， where they had to buckle down， which introductory psychology class would pad out the schedule. You knew what you had to do to get to this college and to graduate from it. But the unfortunate， yet truly exciting thing about your life， is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. The paths are infinite and the results uncertain. And it can be maddening to those that go here， especially here， because your strength has always been achievement. So if there's any real advice I can give you it's this.
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade， or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways， and you will find it， and people will no longer be grading you， but it will come from your own internal sense of decency which I imagine， after going through the program here， is quite strong…although I'm sure downloading illegal files…but， nah， that's a different story. （Applause）
Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.
And the last thing I want to address is the idea that somehow this new generation is not as prepared for the sacrifice and the tenacity that will be needed in the difficult times ahead. I have not found this generation to be cynical or apathetic or selfish. They are as strong and as decent as any people that I have met. And I will say this， on my way down here I stopped at Bethesda Naval， and when you talk to the young kids that are there that have just been back from Iraq and Afghanistan， you don't have the worry about the future that you hear from so many that are not a part of this generation but judging it from above. （Applause）
And the other thing….that I will say is， when I spoke earlier about the world being broke， I was somewhat being facetious， because every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly， and life gets better in an instant.
I was in New York on 9-11 when the towers came down. I lived 14 blocks from the twin towers. And when they came down， I thought that the world had ended. And I remember walking around in a daze for weeks. And Mayor Giuliani had said to the city， “You've got to get back to normal. We've got to show that things can change and get back to what they were.”
And one day I was coming out of my building， and on my stoop， was a man who was crouched over， and he appeared to be in deep thought. And as I got closer to him I realized， he was … （Editor Note： Adult content. Google it when you are 18） And that's when I thought， “You know what， we're gonna be OK.” （Laughter and Applause）
Thank you. Congratulations. I honor you. （Constant cheers） Good Night.
中国观众则贴切地称他为“囧叔”。Jon Stewart的节目视频在微博 （weibo.com） 中的人气非常之高，以至有热心的英语达人不时更新带有中文字幕的作品，吸引了大批的追随者。
1999年，37岁的主持人新手Jon Stewart接手两岁多的晚间脱口秀节目The Daily Show。接下来的一年中，Jon在节目中展现了他对时事政治的专业解读和绝妙的讽刺才能，影响着近两百万观众（美国人口3.1亿强）。皮尤 （Pew） 2008年的一份调查研究显示，The Daily Show的受众仅有23%是50岁以上的人群，在这一点上，节目甚至超过了CNN、C-SPAN及FOX。
作为吸引最年轻观众的电视节目之一，从政客、当红演员到学者、作家，都无一例外地争相在节目中露面。Jon和英国前首相布莱尔 （Tony Blair） 针对全球化和区域化问题侃侃而谈；又就着茶和点心与时任巴基斯坦总统穆沙拉夫 （Pervez Musharraf） 聊起本 · 拉登 （Osama bin Laden） 的藏身之所；美国前副总统切尼 （Dick Cheney） 的夫人Lynne郑重地出席他的节目，带着电影《星球大战》中的达斯 · 维达 （Darth Vader） 像，解释说它可是切尼家里传了好几代的；红星安吉丽娜 · 朱莉 （Angelina Jolie） 来过，2008年的两位总统候选人奥巴马和麦凯恩也来过，参议员希拉里 （Hillary Clinton） 2008年在关键的得克萨斯和俄亥俄初选 （primary） 前夜，挤出时间通过卫星电视在节目中露面。
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart曾18次获得艾美奖（“黄金时段艾美奖最佳综艺/音乐/喜剧节目奖”2003～2012连续10年获奖，外加“最佳综艺/音乐/喜剧节目编剧奖”2001～2012年间共获奖8次）。Jon则两度主持奥斯卡金像奖颁奖典礼（第78届及第80届）。
2004年，Jon Stewart受邀回到母校威廉玛丽学院 （College of Williams and Mary） 做毕业典礼演讲，他一如既往的幽默讽刺，却又不失哲理，插科打诨后引人深思。该校著名校友还有美国第一任总统乔治 · 华盛顿 （George Washington） ，第三任总统托马斯 · 杰佛逊 （Thomas Jefferson），第五任总统詹姆斯 · 门罗 （James Monroe） 及第十任总统约翰 · 泰勒 （John Tylor） 等。
Thank you Mr. President， I had forgotten how crushingly dull these ceremonies are. （Laughter） Thank you.
My best to the choir. I have to say， that song never grows old for me. （Laughter） Whenever I hear that song， it reminds me… of nothing. （Laughter）
I am honored to be here， I do have a confession to make before we get going that I should explain very quickly. When I am not on television， this is actually how I dress. （Wearing a doctoral gown） I apologize， but there's something very freeing about it. I congratulate the students for being able to walk even a half a mile in this non-breathable fabric in the Williamsburg heat. （Cheers and laughter） I am sure the environment that now exists under your robes， are the same conditions that primordial life began on this earth. （Laughter）
I know there were some parents that were concerned about my speech here tonight， and I want to assure you that you will not hear any language that is not common at， say， a dock workers union meeting， or Tourrett's convention， or profanity seminar （Editor Note： All the three places mentioned are where the language is not common）. Rest assured. （Laughter）
I am honored to be here and to receive this honorary doctorate. When I think back to the people that have been in this position before me from Benjamin Franklin to Queen Noor of Jordan， I can't help but wonder what has happened to this place. （Laughter） Seriously， it saddens me. （Laughter） As a person， I am honored to get it； as an alumnus， I have to say I believe we can do better. （Laughter） And I believe we should. But it has always been a dream of mine to receive a doctorate and to know that today， without putting in any effort， I will. （Cheers and laughter） It's incredibly gratifying. Thank you. That's very nice of you， I appreciate it. I'm sure my fellow doctoral graduates—who have spent so long toiling in academia， sinking into debt， sacrificing God knows how many years of what， in truth， is a piece of parchment that in truth has been so devalued by our instant gratification culture as to have been rendered meaningless—will join in congratulating me. （Laughter） Thank you.
But today isn't about how my presence here devalues this fine institution. It is about you， the graduates. I'm honored to be here to congratulate you today. （Applause） Today is the day you enter into the real world， and I should give you a few pointers on what it is. It's actually not that different from the environment here. The biggest difference is you will now be paying for things， （laughter） and the real world is not surrounded by three-foot brick wall. And the real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks out of straw and water， those people are not colonial re-enactors—they are poor. （Laughter） Help them. And in the real world， there is not as much candle lighting. I don't really know what it is about this campus and candle lighting， but I wish it would stop. （Laughter） We only have so much wax， people. （Laughter）
Let's talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier， and I…I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world， and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don't really know to put this， so I'll be blunt. We broke it. （Laughter）
Please don't be mad. （Laughter） I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So， sorry. （Laughter）
I don't know if you've been following the news lately， but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire， we heard kind of a pinging noise， and uh， then the damn thing just died on us. （Laughter） So I apologize.
But here's the good news. You fix this thing， you're the next greatest generation， people. （Cheers and laughter） You do this—and I believe you can—you win this war on terror， and Tom Brokaw's kissing your ass from here to Tikrit， let me tell ya. （Laughter） And even if you don't， you're not gonna have much trouble surpassing my generation. If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and don't give the thumbs up you've outdid us.
We declared war on terror. We declared war on terror—it's not even a noun， so， good luck. After we defeat it， I'm sure we'll take on that bastard ennui. （Laughter） But obviously that's the world. What about your lives？ What piece of wisdom can I impart to you about my journey that will somehow ease your transition from college back to your parents' basement？ （Laughter）
I know some of you are nostalgic today and filled with excitement and perhaps uncertainty at what the future holds. I know six of you are trying to figure out how to make a bong out of your caps. （Laughter） I believe you are members of Psi U. （Cheers and laughter） Hey that did work， thank you for the reference. （Turn his head back to the committee on the stage）
So I thought I'd talk a little bit about my experience here at William and Mary. It was very long ago， and if you had been to William and Mary while I was here and found out that I would be the commencement speaker 20 years later， you would be somewhat surprised， and probably somewhat angry. （Laughter） I came to William and Mary because as a Jewish person I wanted to explore the rich tapestry of Judaica that is Southern Virginia. （Applause） Imagine my surprise when I realized “The Tribe” was not what I thought it meant. （Laughter）
In 1980 I was 17 years old. When I moved to Williamsburg， my hall was in the basement of Yates， which combined the cheerfulness of a bomb shelter with the prison-like comfort of the group shower. As a freshman I was quite a catch. Less than five feet tall， yet my head is the same size it is now. （Laughter） Didn't even really look like a head， it looked more like a container for a head. I looked like a Peanuts character. Peanuts characters had terrible acne. But what I lacked in looks I made up for with a repugnant personality. （Laughter） You could say that my one saving grace was academics where I excelled， but I did not. （Laughter）
And yet now I live in the rarified air of celebrity， of mega stardom. My life a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabala center brunches with the cast of Friends. （Laughter） At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.
So I know that the decisions that I made after college worked out. But at the time I didn't know that they would. See college is not necessarily predictive of your future success. And it's the kind of thing where the path that I chose obviously wouldn't work for you. For one， you're not very funny. （Laughter）
So how do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire？ And the honest answer is this. You won't. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience. I was not exceptional here， and am not now. I was mediocre here. And I'm not saying aim low. Not everybody can wander around in an alcoholic haze and then at 40 just， you know， decide to be president. You've got to really work hard to try to… （Laughter and constant cheers） I was actually referring to my father. （Laughter）
When I left William and Mary I was shell-shocked. Because when you're in college it's very clear what you have to do to succeed. And I imagine here everybody knows exactly the number of credits they needed to graduate， where they had to buckle down， which introductory psychology class would pad out the schedule. You knew what you had to do to get to this college and to graduate from it. But the unfortunate， yet truly exciting thing about your life， is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. The paths are infinite and the results uncertain. And it can be maddening to those that go here， especially here， because your strength has always been achievement. So if there's any real advice I can give you it's this.
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade， or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways， and you will find it， and people will no longer be grading you， but it will come from your own internal sense of decency which I imagine， after going through the program here， is quite strong…although I'm sure downloading illegal files…but， nah， that's a different story. （Applause）
Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.
And the last thing I want to address is the idea that somehow this new generation is not as prepared for the sacrifice and the tenacity that will be needed in the difficult times ahead. I have not found this generation to be cynical or apathetic or selfish. They are as strong and as decent as any people that I have met. And I will say this， on my way down here I stopped at Bethesda Naval， and when you talk to the young kids that are there that have just been back from Iraq and Afghanistan， you don't have the worry about the future that you hear from so many that are not a part of this generation but judging it from above. （Applause）
And the other thing….that I will say is， when I spoke earlier about the world being broke， I was somewhat being facetious， because every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly， and life gets better in an instant.
I was in New York on 9-11 when the towers came down. I lived 14 blocks from the twin towers. And when they came down， I thought that the world had ended. And I remember walking around in a daze for weeks. And Mayor Giuliani had said to the city， “You've got to get back to normal. We've got to show that things can change and get back to what they were.”
And one day I was coming out of my building， and on my stoop， was a man who was crouched over， and he appeared to be in deep thought. And as I got closer to him I realized， he was … （Editor Note： Adult content. Google it when you are 18） And that's when I thought， “You know what， we're gonna be OK.” （Laughter and Applause）
Thank you. Congratulations. I honor you. （Constant cheers） Good Night.