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少年时,我很喜欢看武侠小说和武侠电影,在感受刀光剑影的时候,跟仰慕的大侠同悲共喜,仿佛故事中的家国恨、儿女情,都是自己拍栏的歌。他们那不畏强权的豪勇、虽死不辞的壮烈、深宵弹剑的慷慨,常常让我们感佩不已。无论是风姿嫣然明眸似水,还是千山独行衣袂飘然,这些都成为我们那个年月里,不可或缺的青春意象。当然,不光是我们有这样浪漫的向往,千百年来的文人们,也一再做着侠客梦,寄托自我无法舒展的怀抱和不能实现的理想。当出仕时,他们深感宦海险恶,但真正退隐乡居,又会因难以出人头地而郁郁寡欢。这种矛盾和尴尬才是大多数文人“进亦忧,退亦忧”的原因。
When I was a teenager, I really enjoyed watching martial arts novels and martial arts movies. When I was feeling the Swordsmanship, I was reminded of the sadness with my admiration for her husband, as if the family hate and eroticism in the story were songs of my own. Their fearless courage, though deathless heroic, late at night the generosity of the sword, often let us admire endless. Whether it is graceful sweet eyes like water, or Qianshan lone uniforms are floating in the air, these are our years, the indispensable image of youth. Of course, not only do we have such a longing for romance, the literati for centuries have repeatedly done the dream of knight-errant, pinning the unprintable embrace and the unrealized ideal. When they were born, they deeply felt the dangers of officialdom, but the truly retreating townships would again be unhappy because of their difficulties in gaining ground. This kind of contradiction and embarrassment is the reason why most of the literati “into and out of worry, retreat and worry ”.