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大多数关于抚育孩子的图书都只是泛泛地讲解怎样养孩子的问题,而不是很具体地讲怎样抚养一个男孩或女孩的问题。孩子之间的确有许多相似之处,他们有相似的需求和相似的成长任务。然而,孩子其实在很小的时候就已经搞清楚了自己的身份——是男还是女。性别虽然对他们的行为不是很重要,但对于他们搞清楚自己的身份却是很重要的。我们会经常看见一些小女孩和小男孩跨越约定俗成的男女责任分工,但与此同时他们却仍保持着自己的性别身份。男孩和女孩在一些阶段的成长方式很相似,而在另一些阶段却大不相同。所以,了解并重视这些相同点与不同点是很重要的。在理想的情况下,男孩和女孩都会在自己的内在成长周期中完成从男孩到男人,从女孩到女人的任务。
Most books about raising children are just general questions about raising a child, not how to raise a boy or girl very specifically. Children do have many similarities, they have similar needs and similar growth tasks. However, children actually have their own identity at an early age - whether male or female. Although gender is not important to their behavior, it is important that they identify themselves. We often see some young girls and boys straddling the established division of responsibilities between men and women, but at the same time they still maintain their own gender identity. Boys and girls are similar in how they grow at some stages, but very different at other stages. Therefore, it is important to understand and value these similarities and differences. Ideally, both boys and girls fulfill their mission from boy to man and from girl to woman in their own inner growth cycle.