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Yesterday Zhang Qiang and I were playing happy① in the classroom and didn’t notice that Wang Li’s pencil box was on the desk. I knocked it off and her pen was broken.
I spoke② sorry to her， but she was still angry with me. As a result， I had a quarrel with her. Our teacher came in and stopped us quarrel③. I said sorry to her again， and told her I would buy her a new pen， but she refused to accept it. I would be more careful when playing.
江苏省连云港市赣榆区罗阳中学八（3）班 沈长宇
1. 优点：
短文讲述了因自己玩耍不小心碰坏了别人的东西，然后发生争吵和向对方道歉的故事。整篇文章文字流畅、用词得当，是一篇不错的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方：
① happy改为happily。修饰动词短语“were playing”应使用副词。
② spoke改为said。“say sorry to sb.”是固定短语，意为“向某人说对不起”。
③ quarrel改为quarreling。“stop sb. （from） doing sth.”是固定短语，意为“阻止某人做某事”。
3. 评分：
按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准，本文修改前可得23分。
I spoke② sorry to her， but she was still angry with me. As a result， I had a quarrel with her. Our teacher came in and stopped us quarrel③. I said sorry to her again， and told her I would buy her a new pen， but she refused to accept it. I would be more careful when playing.
江苏省连云港市赣榆区罗阳中学八（3）班 沈长宇
1. 优点：
短文讲述了因自己玩耍不小心碰坏了别人的东西，然后发生争吵和向对方道歉的故事。整篇文章文字流畅、用词得当，是一篇不错的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方：
① happy改为happily。修饰动词短语“were playing”应使用副词。
② spoke改为said。“say sorry to sb.”是固定短语，意为“向某人说对不起”。
③ quarrel改为quarreling。“stop sb. （from） doing sth.”是固定短语，意为“阻止某人做某事”。
3. 评分：
按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准，本文修改前可得23分。