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For those who are physically and mentally healthy， the symptoms of depression sufferers can be difficult to imagine. However， the expression of depression is not simply to say that "I am blue”， depression sufferers have to bear pain and sufferings that are far beyond our imagination. "Even if you are tied up in a chair for half a year， you cannot feel my pain." said a depression sufferer.
Depression is a common mood disorder， which may be caused by a variety of reasons， whose main clinical characteristic is significant and longstanding low mood. Depression also has a development process. Occasional blue moods may develop into low spirits and then further developed into lacking confidence， interest and the ability of feeling happiness， which may finally become cognitive dissonance， action back， thought disorder and movement disorder. Seriously ill patients may stick to themselves， quit sleeping or eating， be unable to take care of themselves or， more extremely， commit suicide.
According to World Health Organization （WHO）， the estimated number of people who commit suicide can be up to one million every year， among who a large proportion are resulted by depression. Researches show that in addition to drugs or physical therapy， psychotherapy can also play a very active role in the treatment of depression， especially to the depression sufferers who feel that they are not understood or recognized. What they need is a place for "catharsis".
对于身心健康之人来说，抑郁症患者患病时的状态或许听上去有些匪夷所思，但抑郁症的表现并不是说一句简单的“我很郁闷”就可以表述清楚，抑郁症患者所承受的痛苦和折磨远超出我们的想象。“就算把你绑在椅子上绑上半年，你也无法体会我的痛苦。”一位抑郁症患者这样说道。
抑郁症是一种常见的心境障碍，可能由多种原因引起，以显著而持久的情绪低落为主要临床特征。抑郁症也有一个发展过程，从时而淡淡的忧郁情绪逐渐发展到郁郁寡欢，再继续发展到失去自信、兴趣和感受快乐的能力，最后还会表现为认知失调、行动退缩、思维障碍及行动障碍等，严重者甚至封闭自我、不寝不食，生活无法自理，更有极端者会自残自杀。
世界卫生组织表示，每年自杀死亡人数估计高达100万人，其中抑郁症导致的自杀占有相当大的比例。研究表明，抑郁症的治疗除了依靠药物或物理治疗手段外，心理治疗也能起到十分积极的作用，尤其是对于觉得自己不被理解和认同的抑郁症患者群体来说，他们更需要的是一个可以“宣泄”的出口。
To treat depression with the public welfare activities
用公益治疗抑郁
Tulip Mental Health Service Center （hereinafter referred to as "the Tulip"）， which was established by Chen Wei， is a communication platform that offers service to depression sufferers. He is more willing to call this platform "a mutual aid association of spiritual growth"， which allows these cold souls to warm each other together. "Tulip" means： being depressed before but sweet-smelling now （the Chinese pronunciation of tulip can be explained in this way）. Since it was founded in 2011， Tulip has been known by many Chinese depression sufferers. More and more sufferers and their family contact the Tulip， hoping to get help. However， Chen Wei， the leader of the “only one" fraternity of depression sufferers， has two identities in his name cards： "Director General of Tulip Mental Health Service Center of Shanghai" and "a depression sufferer". 由陈巍发起创立的郁今香心理健康服务中心（下文简称为“郁今香”）就是一个为抑郁症患者提供的服务交流平台。他更愿意把这个平台称作“心灵成长互助会”，让这些冰冷的心灵靠在一起相互取暖。“郁今香”的含义也正是：曾经抑郁，而今芳香。自2011年创办至今，郁今香在中国抑郁症患者群中已经小有名气，越来越多的抑郁症患者及家属联系到郁今香，希望获得帮助。而这个全国“只此一家”的病友互助组织负责人陈巍的名片上却印有两个身份：“上海郁今香心理健康服务中心总干事”以及“抑郁症患者”。
Looking at the resume of Chen Weiqian of the first 27 years of his life， many people may be envious. He was an excellent student who ranked No. 15 in the college entrance examination of Shanghai. He was master of Economics from Shanghai University and after graduation he had been the executive of many top 500 enterprises of the world. Being proficient in English， he was a certified public accountant and had a happy family. But in 2003， due to the pressure of work and the perfectionism of himself， a "black dog" went into the life of Chen Wei， which disturbed his comfortable life. The "black dog" was depression， more precisely， it was manic depression. It was a painful disease which was more difficult to be treated than a unipolar depression， with both symptoms of being manic and being depressed. When he was manic， Chen Wei would be in very high spirits， feeling as if he was on top of the world. He said that when he was manic， he once wanted to run for president， or even wanted to find an alien and to save humanity together. But when it came to autumn and winter and the mania was over， there was endless darkness. His moods dropped suddenly from a peak to the bottom and he could not concern about anything， or become interested in anything. "In the most serious period， I wrote lots of suicide notes in my company， writing my shortcomings and why I should die. I even wandered around the window." said Chen Wei.
The frequent outbreak of depression made Chen Wei lose his job and his beloved wife. Even once his relationship with his parents became strained. He did not know what made him to change until he searched the Internet for the cause and found that he might have depression. Chen Wei said： "Getting to know the disease， the anxiety and unknown fear I used to have vanished a lot." Being sure that he was ill， Chen Wei began to explore into depression. He began to learn psychology by himself and take part in the activities carried out by the Mental Health Center of Shanghai on a regular basis. In the search for the road of self-rescue， Chen Wei got to know that in abroad there was a pattern of mutual aid group of patients， which aimed at treating the disease with mutual help of patients with depression. He wanted to join such a group， but he could not find a similar institution in China， so he came up with the idea of establishing a mutual aid group by himself. 如果翻看陈巍前27年的简历，一定会引来无数羡慕的眼光。他曾是上海高考排名前15的优等生，上海大学经济学硕士，毕业后担任过多家世界500强企业的高管，精通英语，拥有注册会计师资格证，还有一个幸福的家庭。可是在2003年，由于工作的压力和自己的完美主义，陈巍的生活中出现了一条“黑狗”，把他原本舒适的生活搅得不得安宁，这条“黑狗”就是抑郁症，更准确地说，是躁狂抑郁症。这是一种比单相抑郁症更难治疗也更折磨人的疾病，兼有躁狂状态和抑郁状态两种主要表现。躁狂发作时，陈巍的情绪会处于极其兴奋和高涨的状态，觉得自己站在世界之巅。他说他在躁狂时曾想过去竞选国家主席，甚至想找一个外星人一起拯救全人类。可是当进入秋冬季节，当极度狂躁的情绪结束，随之而来的就是无边的黑暗，心情一下子从高峰跌入谷底，不关注任何事情，没有任何事情能提起他的兴趣。“最严重的时候在单位拼命写遗书，写自己如何不好，自己应该死，甚至在窗口徘徊过。”陈巍说道。
抑郁症的反复交替发作，让陈巍丢掉了工作、失去了相爱的妻子，甚至一度和父母的关系变得紧张。他开始并不知道自己为什么会变成这样，直到上网查找原因，才发现自己有可能是得了抑郁症。陈巍说：“知道是这个病，我觉得那种焦虑和无名的恐惧反而少了很多。”确定自己病了后，陈巍开始尝试深入了解抑郁症，他开始自学心理学，定期参加上海市精神卫生中心开展的活动。在寻找自救之路时，陈巍了解到国外有一种患者互助小组的形式，通过抑郁症患者之间相互帮助达到治疗目的，他想要加入这种小组，但却在国内找不到类似的机构，于是他萌生了自己创办一个互助小组的想法。
In September 2011， the Tulip Mutual Support Association of Spiritual Growth was established with Chen Wei's efforts. "Get out of the depression， live in the present and in your hands there will be fragrance"， the last three words were the name of the institution （the Chinese pronunciation of tulip consists of the pronunciation of the last three words in Chinese） Chen Wei hoped in the self-rescue process he could help others， and also hope that by helping others he could walk out of depression. He said， "It （the Tulip） is mainly used to treat myself and let me have a goal. In this way I can do something I really want to do and I am very satisfied." Through activities such as “Beneficial Friends” and “Speak Out loud”， Tulip enabled its members to communicate with each other and learn from each other. They got together and bring warmth to each other and depression disappeared. Having been suffering the disease for 11 years， Chen Wei is now very familiar with the outbreak regularity of it and is able to carry out some self adjustments. In the face of the pressure of managing the Tulip， he will keep doing exercises and active decompression， and have a rest before the outbreak. He said： "maybe depression， the black dog will always be a part of my life， but I do not think it is terrible. As long as we face up to it with right attitudes and live in peace with it， our life will still shine."
2011年9月，郁今香心灵成长互助协会在陈巍的努力下诞生了。“解忧化郁，活在当今，手留余香”，这三个短语的最后三个字刚好就是机构的名称，陈巍希望在自助的同时去帮助别人，也通过帮助别人来让自己走出抑郁。他说，“这个（郁今香）主要治疗我自己，让我有一个奔头，做点自己真正想做的事儿，挺满足的。”郁今香正是通过“益友汇”、“大声说”等活动，让成员们互相交流和学习，一起抱团取暖，化解抑郁。如今患病11年的陈巍已经很熟悉自己的发病规律，也能够较好地进行一些自我调节。面对管理郁今香带给他的压力，他会坚持运动，积极减压，在压力爆发之前主动休息。他说：“也许抑郁症这条黑狗将永远成为我生命中的一部分，但是我觉得并不可怕，只要正确地面对，与它和平共处，生命就依然会绽放光彩。”
A neglected mental disease
被忽视的精神疾病
Depression is not “splitting hairs” or "being narrow-minded"， it is a kind of mental disease， like a "cold" of the soul. Medical researches show that， depression sufferers cannot get the substances of brain which can help produce pleasant moods and initiatives， for example， dopamine， so they cannot feel happy. A lot of celebrities suffered from depression in the history. From Robin Williams， the famous American comedy actress who committed suicide recently， to those who left the world before， such as Kawabata Yasunari， Hemingway， Van Gogh， Gu Cheng， Hai Zi and Leslie Cheung...... everyone of them ended up their life in depression. The same tragedy has happened to many ordinary people. On March 20， 2013， in the micro blog， a girl of Nanjing named “Zoufan” committed suicide one day after she post the last sentence she wanted to say to the world with “Time Machine” （a microblogging tool which can post threads in the time set before）： "I have depression， so I just go to die. There is not any important reason and you do not need to mind my leaving. Bye-bye." Such suicide note showed calmness but also sadness. Depression has become a common disease worldwide， according to the statistics of WHO， the estimated number of depression sufferers in the world was up to 0.35 billion in 2012， and it is estimated that by 2020， depression will become the largest disease after coronary heart disease. According to the latest data released in the "Seventh National Mental Health Conference" which was held in Beijing in August， 2014， every year two hundred thousand people die of depression in China. The number is equivalent to that of the casualties of Wenchuan Earthquake. But it is puzzling that such amazing data and a serial of headlines have not attracted enough attention or caused alert of society. Although there are effective treatments for depression， only less than half of the patients have received them， and in some countries less than 10% of the patients have been treated.
抑郁症并不是“钻牛角尖”、“小心眼”，而是一种精神疾病，就像心灵上的“感冒”。医学研究表明，抑郁症患者大脑中无法获得能够帮助其产生愉快、积极性等情绪的物质，如多巴胺，因此他们感受不到快乐。历史上受抑郁症折磨的名人不在少数，从最近自杀的美国著名喜剧影星罗宾·威廉姆斯，到早已离开世界的川端康成、海明威、梵高、顾城、海子、张国荣……无一不是在抑郁中结束了自己的生命。同样的悲剧在普通人中也多有发生。2013年3月20日，微博名叫“走饭”的南京女孩儿自杀一天后，她生前利用“时光机”（一种可定时发布微博的工具）发布的微博留下了她对世人说的最后一句话：“我有抑郁症，所以就去死一死，没什么重要的原因，大家不必在意我的离开。拜拜啦。”这样的遗言显得平静却悲伤。
抑郁症已经成为一种全球常见病，据世界卫生组织统计，2012年全球估计共有抑郁症患者3.5亿，预计到2020年，抑郁症将成为继冠心病后的第二大疾病。据2014年8月在中国北京举行的“第七届全国心理卫生学术大会”上公布的最新数据显示，中国每年有20万人因抑郁症自杀，这数据相当于两次汶川大地震的身亡人数。但让人不解的是，如此惊人的数据和接连不断的新闻头条却没有引起社会足够的关注和警醒。虽然对抑郁症已有行之有效的治疗办法，但全球只有不足一半的患者接受有效治疗。在一些国家中仅有不到10%的患者受到了治疗。
Compared with the high frequency of outbreak of depression， the public awareness of depression is very low. One of the reasons is that the symptoms of depression include physical pain， and about 90% of the depression sufferers cannot know that they are sick and refer to medical treatment. Lack of resources and lack of well-trained health care personnel will also lead to low recognition rate of depression. In addition， the "stigma" is also in the way of their rehabilitation. In Chen Wei's opinion， both the patients themselves and other people in society have attached strong stigma to depression. He said： "It is not easy for the patients to admit that they suffer from depression and refer to medical treatment. The social understanding of depression， which demonizes it， is also terrible. People who suffer from depression are regarded as madmen or dangerous bomb， such unscientific view has worsened the situation of depression sufferers." Talking about the fact of being a depression sufferer， Chen Wei does not have any hesitation or scruple now， in that he thinks it is very important to eliminate or relieve the "stigma" of depression sufferers. He wants to start from himself， help other patients to eliminate the stigma. In the youth activity of “Speak Out Loud” of Tulip， he asked the patients to discuss how to relieve the stigma of mental diseases. After the activity some patients said： "We are normal people. We have no difference with others！" 与抑郁症的高发病率相比，公众对抑郁症的认识度却是很低的。原因之一是抑郁症的病状常常伴随着躯体疼痛，所以90%左右的抑郁症患者不能意识到自己可能患病并及时就医。缺乏资源以及缺乏训练有素的卫生保健人员也会导致抑郁症识别率的低下。除此之外，“病耻感”也严重阻碍着患者的康复之路。在陈巍看来，不管是患者本身还是社会上其他人，对抑郁症的病耻感还是很强的。他说，“如今要病友承认自己患有抑郁症，去看病治疗，并不容易。社会上对抑郁症的妖魔化理解也很可怕，患了抑郁症，被当成疯子，被认为是危险炸弹，这种不科学的看法，对抑郁症患者更是雪上加霜。”如今谈起自己是抑郁症患者，陈巍丝毫没有顾忌和避讳，他认为消除或减轻抑郁症患者的“病耻感”十分重要。他希望从自己做起，帮助病友们消除病耻感。在郁今香青年会大声说的活动中，他号召病友们一起探讨如何减少精神疾病的病耻感。活动结束后，就有病友表示“我们都是正常人，跟别人没什么不一样！”
Depression calls for
wider attention
抑郁症需要更广泛的关注
The name of Tulip has been gradually spread among the patients and an increasing number of people have joined Chen Wei's mutual aid group of the soul. By March 2014， Tulip has more than 200 activities， and up to 3000 people have participated in them. Chen Wei said， joining a mutual aid group has three main functions： to relieve loneliness， relieve stigma and increase the confidence of rehabilitation. In order to expand its influence， in addition to depression sufferers， the activities of the Tulip are also open to people who want to improve interpersonal relationship and experience self development. Chen Wei said， now more and more people who do not have depression have participated in the activities， with their joining in and integration， the voice of the "beneficial friends" （what they call the depression sufferers） can be heard. It is a good prevention to be with the "beneficial friends"， convey positive energy and know more about depression.
Chen Wei is not worried about that the communication of depression sufferers will spread of negative energy， instead he believes that， as long as the energy flows， it helps. "If there is no obstacle， there is not pain，" he said， "with appropriate guidance， negative energy can also shine. We should dig out what has supported them so far， and recognize what they have done rightly， which is also a reminder and encouragement for other depression sufferers." Chen Wei said that later the Tulip would add to some personalized needs ， extending the simple indoor activities to the outside and adding to some "eating， drinking， playing and relaxing" form of activities， such as organizing film-watching groups， sports meetings， study groups and so on， to give more experience to depression sufferers， distract their attention and reduce their melancholy moods temporarily. As for those who are seriously ill， Chen Wei hopes that by being visited individually， they can feel that they are understood and cared.
郁今香的名字在病友中间逐渐传开，越来越多的患者与社会人士加入到陈巍的心灵互助小组。截至2014年3月，郁今香已经开展活动二百余次，有多达三千余人参与。陈巍介绍道，参加互助小组主要有三大作用：减少孤独感、减少病耻感以及增加康复的信心。为了扩大影响力，郁今香的活动除了面向抑郁症患者，还面向所有想改善人际关系、体验自我成长的社会人士。陈巍说，现在参加活动的非抑郁症患者越来越多，有了他们的加入与融合，可以倾听“益友”（他们对抑郁症患者的称呼）的声音，陪伴“益友”，传达更多的正能量，多了解抑郁症的相关知识也是一种很好的预防。 陈巍并不担心抑郁症患者之间的倾诉会传播负能量，相反他认为，能量只要能流动起来，也是有帮助的。“通则不痛”，他说道，“通过适度的引导，负能量也是有闪光点的，挖掘出是什么支持他们走到现在的动力，肯定他们做得好的地方，对于其他抑郁症患者来说也是一个提醒和鼓励。”陈巍表示，以后郁今香还会增加一些个性化需求，把单一的室内活动扩展到室外，补充一些“吃喝玩乐”的形式，比如组织观影会、运动会、学习小组等等，给抑郁症患者更多的体验，转移他们的注意力，暂时减少忧郁的情绪。而对于比较严重的患者，陈巍则希望通过上门探访的形式，让他们感受到被理解与被关怀。
As the first officially registered mutual aid organization of depression sufferers in the mainland of China， Chen Wei had a very hard beginning. In the beginning they did not have fixed venue and had to use the free offices offered by friends， moving from one to another. In order not to make the patients affected by the change of the venue， Chen Wei came up with a plan of “Sanshierli”， whose content was to find 300 partners， and let everyone of them donate 10 RMB every month to be the rent of the venue for activities. Chen Wei said， though they had not found 300 persons， the goal of the plan had been accomplished. Besides the money donated by the partners every month， great help was given by the fundation and relevant organizations also to the Tulip for solving the problem of the rent. Now he is looking for the best venue for activities. He said， since they lacked capital and personnel， they must be careful with every step.
Chen Wei has said that one of the working directions of Tulip this year is the strategy of internationalizing communication. At present Tulip has joined the World Federation for Mental Health （WFMH） and the DBSA， the largest supporting organization for depression. In addition， it has had connection with countries and regions such as America， Germany， Hong Kong and Taiwan， hoping to learn from the experience of different places. He hopes that the Tulip could come up with a mature “template”， and the good template could be promoted widely and therefore mutual aid organizations would pop up across the country. His long-term goal is to develop Tulip into a training base of mutual aid organizations for depression， which offers profession personnel for the organizations in different places and shares experience. He said， at first he planned to put himself into public welfare course for ten years， but now he realized that it was a lifelong course. Now， shortage of personnel and capital is still the largest problem of Tulip and Chen Wei expects eagerly that all sectors of society could offer more care and help to depression sufferers. As what he said： "It is good to be away from depression， but please be close to depression sufferers."
作为中国大陆第一个正式注册的抑郁症患者互助组织，陈巍刚开始走得很艰难。最初他们并没有固定的活动场所，只能辗转在朋友提供的免费办公室中。为了不让空间上的流动影响到活动参与者，陈巍发起了“三十而立”计划，计划寻求300个伙伴，每人每月捐10元，用于支付活动室的租金。陈巍说，虽然没有找齐300个伙伴，但是活动的目的已经达到了，除了每月捐钱的伙伴们，还有基金会和相关组织也给予了郁今香帮助，解决了房租问题。目前他仍然在谨慎地寻找最佳的活动场所，他说，因为资金和人手短缺，每一步都要走得十分小心。
陈巍介绍，郁今香今年的工作方向之一是国际化交流战略，目前已经加盟世界精神卫生联盟（WFMH）以及世界最大的抑郁支持组织DBSA，并且与美国、德国、香港、台湾等国家和地区建立了联系，希望从世界各地学习经验。他希望郁今香能够形成一套成熟的“模板”，先把模板做好再进行较大规模的推广，带动各地都建立起抑郁症患者的互助组织。他的长远目标是把郁今香发展成一个抑郁症互助机构的培训基地，为各地的机构输送专业人员、分享经验，并成立“中国抑郁症支持联盟”，扶持和带领其他抑郁患者互助机构建立与发展。他说，“本来希望做十年公益就好，但现在看来，这是一辈子的事情。”如今，资金和人手不足仍是郁今香面临的最大问题，陈巍仍然迫切地希望社会各界能够给抑郁症患者更多的关注和帮助，正如他所说：“可以远离抑郁，但请走近抑郁症患者。”
Depression is a common mood disorder， which may be caused by a variety of reasons， whose main clinical characteristic is significant and longstanding low mood. Depression also has a development process. Occasional blue moods may develop into low spirits and then further developed into lacking confidence， interest and the ability of feeling happiness， which may finally become cognitive dissonance， action back， thought disorder and movement disorder. Seriously ill patients may stick to themselves， quit sleeping or eating， be unable to take care of themselves or， more extremely， commit suicide.
According to World Health Organization （WHO）， the estimated number of people who commit suicide can be up to one million every year， among who a large proportion are resulted by depression. Researches show that in addition to drugs or physical therapy， psychotherapy can also play a very active role in the treatment of depression， especially to the depression sufferers who feel that they are not understood or recognized. What they need is a place for "catharsis".
对于身心健康之人来说，抑郁症患者患病时的状态或许听上去有些匪夷所思，但抑郁症的表现并不是说一句简单的“我很郁闷”就可以表述清楚，抑郁症患者所承受的痛苦和折磨远超出我们的想象。“就算把你绑在椅子上绑上半年，你也无法体会我的痛苦。”一位抑郁症患者这样说道。
抑郁症是一种常见的心境障碍，可能由多种原因引起，以显著而持久的情绪低落为主要临床特征。抑郁症也有一个发展过程，从时而淡淡的忧郁情绪逐渐发展到郁郁寡欢，再继续发展到失去自信、兴趣和感受快乐的能力，最后还会表现为认知失调、行动退缩、思维障碍及行动障碍等，严重者甚至封闭自我、不寝不食，生活无法自理，更有极端者会自残自杀。
世界卫生组织表示，每年自杀死亡人数估计高达100万人，其中抑郁症导致的自杀占有相当大的比例。研究表明，抑郁症的治疗除了依靠药物或物理治疗手段外，心理治疗也能起到十分积极的作用，尤其是对于觉得自己不被理解和认同的抑郁症患者群体来说，他们更需要的是一个可以“宣泄”的出口。
To treat depression with the public welfare activities
用公益治疗抑郁
Tulip Mental Health Service Center （hereinafter referred to as "the Tulip"）， which was established by Chen Wei， is a communication platform that offers service to depression sufferers. He is more willing to call this platform "a mutual aid association of spiritual growth"， which allows these cold souls to warm each other together. "Tulip" means： being depressed before but sweet-smelling now （the Chinese pronunciation of tulip can be explained in this way）. Since it was founded in 2011， Tulip has been known by many Chinese depression sufferers. More and more sufferers and their family contact the Tulip， hoping to get help. However， Chen Wei， the leader of the “only one" fraternity of depression sufferers， has two identities in his name cards： "Director General of Tulip Mental Health Service Center of Shanghai" and "a depression sufferer". 由陈巍发起创立的郁今香心理健康服务中心（下文简称为“郁今香”）就是一个为抑郁症患者提供的服务交流平台。他更愿意把这个平台称作“心灵成长互助会”，让这些冰冷的心灵靠在一起相互取暖。“郁今香”的含义也正是：曾经抑郁，而今芳香。自2011年创办至今，郁今香在中国抑郁症患者群中已经小有名气，越来越多的抑郁症患者及家属联系到郁今香，希望获得帮助。而这个全国“只此一家”的病友互助组织负责人陈巍的名片上却印有两个身份：“上海郁今香心理健康服务中心总干事”以及“抑郁症患者”。
Looking at the resume of Chen Weiqian of the first 27 years of his life， many people may be envious. He was an excellent student who ranked No. 15 in the college entrance examination of Shanghai. He was master of Economics from Shanghai University and after graduation he had been the executive of many top 500 enterprises of the world. Being proficient in English， he was a certified public accountant and had a happy family. But in 2003， due to the pressure of work and the perfectionism of himself， a "black dog" went into the life of Chen Wei， which disturbed his comfortable life. The "black dog" was depression， more precisely， it was manic depression. It was a painful disease which was more difficult to be treated than a unipolar depression， with both symptoms of being manic and being depressed. When he was manic， Chen Wei would be in very high spirits， feeling as if he was on top of the world. He said that when he was manic， he once wanted to run for president， or even wanted to find an alien and to save humanity together. But when it came to autumn and winter and the mania was over， there was endless darkness. His moods dropped suddenly from a peak to the bottom and he could not concern about anything， or become interested in anything. "In the most serious period， I wrote lots of suicide notes in my company， writing my shortcomings and why I should die. I even wandered around the window." said Chen Wei.
The frequent outbreak of depression made Chen Wei lose his job and his beloved wife. Even once his relationship with his parents became strained. He did not know what made him to change until he searched the Internet for the cause and found that he might have depression. Chen Wei said： "Getting to know the disease， the anxiety and unknown fear I used to have vanished a lot." Being sure that he was ill， Chen Wei began to explore into depression. He began to learn psychology by himself and take part in the activities carried out by the Mental Health Center of Shanghai on a regular basis. In the search for the road of self-rescue， Chen Wei got to know that in abroad there was a pattern of mutual aid group of patients， which aimed at treating the disease with mutual help of patients with depression. He wanted to join such a group， but he could not find a similar institution in China， so he came up with the idea of establishing a mutual aid group by himself. 如果翻看陈巍前27年的简历，一定会引来无数羡慕的眼光。他曾是上海高考排名前15的优等生，上海大学经济学硕士，毕业后担任过多家世界500强企业的高管，精通英语，拥有注册会计师资格证，还有一个幸福的家庭。可是在2003年，由于工作的压力和自己的完美主义，陈巍的生活中出现了一条“黑狗”，把他原本舒适的生活搅得不得安宁，这条“黑狗”就是抑郁症，更准确地说，是躁狂抑郁症。这是一种比单相抑郁症更难治疗也更折磨人的疾病，兼有躁狂状态和抑郁状态两种主要表现。躁狂发作时，陈巍的情绪会处于极其兴奋和高涨的状态，觉得自己站在世界之巅。他说他在躁狂时曾想过去竞选国家主席，甚至想找一个外星人一起拯救全人类。可是当进入秋冬季节，当极度狂躁的情绪结束，随之而来的就是无边的黑暗，心情一下子从高峰跌入谷底，不关注任何事情，没有任何事情能提起他的兴趣。“最严重的时候在单位拼命写遗书，写自己如何不好，自己应该死，甚至在窗口徘徊过。”陈巍说道。
抑郁症的反复交替发作，让陈巍丢掉了工作、失去了相爱的妻子，甚至一度和父母的关系变得紧张。他开始并不知道自己为什么会变成这样，直到上网查找原因，才发现自己有可能是得了抑郁症。陈巍说：“知道是这个病，我觉得那种焦虑和无名的恐惧反而少了很多。”确定自己病了后，陈巍开始尝试深入了解抑郁症，他开始自学心理学，定期参加上海市精神卫生中心开展的活动。在寻找自救之路时，陈巍了解到国外有一种患者互助小组的形式，通过抑郁症患者之间相互帮助达到治疗目的，他想要加入这种小组，但却在国内找不到类似的机构，于是他萌生了自己创办一个互助小组的想法。
In September 2011， the Tulip Mutual Support Association of Spiritual Growth was established with Chen Wei's efforts. "Get out of the depression， live in the present and in your hands there will be fragrance"， the last three words were the name of the institution （the Chinese pronunciation of tulip consists of the pronunciation of the last three words in Chinese） Chen Wei hoped in the self-rescue process he could help others， and also hope that by helping others he could walk out of depression. He said， "It （the Tulip） is mainly used to treat myself and let me have a goal. In this way I can do something I really want to do and I am very satisfied." Through activities such as “Beneficial Friends” and “Speak Out loud”， Tulip enabled its members to communicate with each other and learn from each other. They got together and bring warmth to each other and depression disappeared. Having been suffering the disease for 11 years， Chen Wei is now very familiar with the outbreak regularity of it and is able to carry out some self adjustments. In the face of the pressure of managing the Tulip， he will keep doing exercises and active decompression， and have a rest before the outbreak. He said： "maybe depression， the black dog will always be a part of my life， but I do not think it is terrible. As long as we face up to it with right attitudes and live in peace with it， our life will still shine."
2011年9月，郁今香心灵成长互助协会在陈巍的努力下诞生了。“解忧化郁，活在当今，手留余香”，这三个短语的最后三个字刚好就是机构的名称，陈巍希望在自助的同时去帮助别人，也通过帮助别人来让自己走出抑郁。他说，“这个（郁今香）主要治疗我自己，让我有一个奔头，做点自己真正想做的事儿，挺满足的。”郁今香正是通过“益友汇”、“大声说”等活动，让成员们互相交流和学习，一起抱团取暖，化解抑郁。如今患病11年的陈巍已经很熟悉自己的发病规律，也能够较好地进行一些自我调节。面对管理郁今香带给他的压力，他会坚持运动，积极减压，在压力爆发之前主动休息。他说：“也许抑郁症这条黑狗将永远成为我生命中的一部分，但是我觉得并不可怕，只要正确地面对，与它和平共处，生命就依然会绽放光彩。”
A neglected mental disease
被忽视的精神疾病
Depression is not “splitting hairs” or "being narrow-minded"， it is a kind of mental disease， like a "cold" of the soul. Medical researches show that， depression sufferers cannot get the substances of brain which can help produce pleasant moods and initiatives， for example， dopamine， so they cannot feel happy. A lot of celebrities suffered from depression in the history. From Robin Williams， the famous American comedy actress who committed suicide recently， to those who left the world before， such as Kawabata Yasunari， Hemingway， Van Gogh， Gu Cheng， Hai Zi and Leslie Cheung...... everyone of them ended up their life in depression. The same tragedy has happened to many ordinary people. On March 20， 2013， in the micro blog， a girl of Nanjing named “Zoufan” committed suicide one day after she post the last sentence she wanted to say to the world with “Time Machine” （a microblogging tool which can post threads in the time set before）： "I have depression， so I just go to die. There is not any important reason and you do not need to mind my leaving. Bye-bye." Such suicide note showed calmness but also sadness. Depression has become a common disease worldwide， according to the statistics of WHO， the estimated number of depression sufferers in the world was up to 0.35 billion in 2012， and it is estimated that by 2020， depression will become the largest disease after coronary heart disease. According to the latest data released in the "Seventh National Mental Health Conference" which was held in Beijing in August， 2014， every year two hundred thousand people die of depression in China. The number is equivalent to that of the casualties of Wenchuan Earthquake. But it is puzzling that such amazing data and a serial of headlines have not attracted enough attention or caused alert of society. Although there are effective treatments for depression， only less than half of the patients have received them， and in some countries less than 10% of the patients have been treated.
抑郁症并不是“钻牛角尖”、“小心眼”，而是一种精神疾病，就像心灵上的“感冒”。医学研究表明，抑郁症患者大脑中无法获得能够帮助其产生愉快、积极性等情绪的物质，如多巴胺，因此他们感受不到快乐。历史上受抑郁症折磨的名人不在少数，从最近自杀的美国著名喜剧影星罗宾·威廉姆斯，到早已离开世界的川端康成、海明威、梵高、顾城、海子、张国荣……无一不是在抑郁中结束了自己的生命。同样的悲剧在普通人中也多有发生。2013年3月20日，微博名叫“走饭”的南京女孩儿自杀一天后，她生前利用“时光机”（一种可定时发布微博的工具）发布的微博留下了她对世人说的最后一句话：“我有抑郁症，所以就去死一死，没什么重要的原因，大家不必在意我的离开。拜拜啦。”这样的遗言显得平静却悲伤。
抑郁症已经成为一种全球常见病，据世界卫生组织统计，2012年全球估计共有抑郁症患者3.5亿，预计到2020年，抑郁症将成为继冠心病后的第二大疾病。据2014年8月在中国北京举行的“第七届全国心理卫生学术大会”上公布的最新数据显示，中国每年有20万人因抑郁症自杀，这数据相当于两次汶川大地震的身亡人数。但让人不解的是，如此惊人的数据和接连不断的新闻头条却没有引起社会足够的关注和警醒。虽然对抑郁症已有行之有效的治疗办法，但全球只有不足一半的患者接受有效治疗。在一些国家中仅有不到10%的患者受到了治疗。
Compared with the high frequency of outbreak of depression， the public awareness of depression is very low. One of the reasons is that the symptoms of depression include physical pain， and about 90% of the depression sufferers cannot know that they are sick and refer to medical treatment. Lack of resources and lack of well-trained health care personnel will also lead to low recognition rate of depression. In addition， the "stigma" is also in the way of their rehabilitation. In Chen Wei's opinion， both the patients themselves and other people in society have attached strong stigma to depression. He said： "It is not easy for the patients to admit that they suffer from depression and refer to medical treatment. The social understanding of depression， which demonizes it， is also terrible. People who suffer from depression are regarded as madmen or dangerous bomb， such unscientific view has worsened the situation of depression sufferers." Talking about the fact of being a depression sufferer， Chen Wei does not have any hesitation or scruple now， in that he thinks it is very important to eliminate or relieve the "stigma" of depression sufferers. He wants to start from himself， help other patients to eliminate the stigma. In the youth activity of “Speak Out Loud” of Tulip， he asked the patients to discuss how to relieve the stigma of mental diseases. After the activity some patients said： "We are normal people. We have no difference with others！" 与抑郁症的高发病率相比，公众对抑郁症的认识度却是很低的。原因之一是抑郁症的病状常常伴随着躯体疼痛，所以90%左右的抑郁症患者不能意识到自己可能患病并及时就医。缺乏资源以及缺乏训练有素的卫生保健人员也会导致抑郁症识别率的低下。除此之外，“病耻感”也严重阻碍着患者的康复之路。在陈巍看来，不管是患者本身还是社会上其他人，对抑郁症的病耻感还是很强的。他说，“如今要病友承认自己患有抑郁症，去看病治疗，并不容易。社会上对抑郁症的妖魔化理解也很可怕，患了抑郁症，被当成疯子，被认为是危险炸弹，这种不科学的看法，对抑郁症患者更是雪上加霜。”如今谈起自己是抑郁症患者，陈巍丝毫没有顾忌和避讳，他认为消除或减轻抑郁症患者的“病耻感”十分重要。他希望从自己做起，帮助病友们消除病耻感。在郁今香青年会大声说的活动中，他号召病友们一起探讨如何减少精神疾病的病耻感。活动结束后，就有病友表示“我们都是正常人，跟别人没什么不一样！”
Depression calls for
wider attention
抑郁症需要更广泛的关注
The name of Tulip has been gradually spread among the patients and an increasing number of people have joined Chen Wei's mutual aid group of the soul. By March 2014， Tulip has more than 200 activities， and up to 3000 people have participated in them. Chen Wei said， joining a mutual aid group has three main functions： to relieve loneliness， relieve stigma and increase the confidence of rehabilitation. In order to expand its influence， in addition to depression sufferers， the activities of the Tulip are also open to people who want to improve interpersonal relationship and experience self development. Chen Wei said， now more and more people who do not have depression have participated in the activities， with their joining in and integration， the voice of the "beneficial friends" （what they call the depression sufferers） can be heard. It is a good prevention to be with the "beneficial friends"， convey positive energy and know more about depression.
Chen Wei is not worried about that the communication of depression sufferers will spread of negative energy， instead he believes that， as long as the energy flows， it helps. "If there is no obstacle， there is not pain，" he said， "with appropriate guidance， negative energy can also shine. We should dig out what has supported them so far， and recognize what they have done rightly， which is also a reminder and encouragement for other depression sufferers." Chen Wei said that later the Tulip would add to some personalized needs ， extending the simple indoor activities to the outside and adding to some "eating， drinking， playing and relaxing" form of activities， such as organizing film-watching groups， sports meetings， study groups and so on， to give more experience to depression sufferers， distract their attention and reduce their melancholy moods temporarily. As for those who are seriously ill， Chen Wei hopes that by being visited individually， they can feel that they are understood and cared.
郁今香的名字在病友中间逐渐传开，越来越多的患者与社会人士加入到陈巍的心灵互助小组。截至2014年3月，郁今香已经开展活动二百余次，有多达三千余人参与。陈巍介绍道，参加互助小组主要有三大作用：减少孤独感、减少病耻感以及增加康复的信心。为了扩大影响力，郁今香的活动除了面向抑郁症患者，还面向所有想改善人际关系、体验自我成长的社会人士。陈巍说，现在参加活动的非抑郁症患者越来越多，有了他们的加入与融合，可以倾听“益友”（他们对抑郁症患者的称呼）的声音，陪伴“益友”，传达更多的正能量，多了解抑郁症的相关知识也是一种很好的预防。 陈巍并不担心抑郁症患者之间的倾诉会传播负能量，相反他认为，能量只要能流动起来，也是有帮助的。“通则不痛”，他说道，“通过适度的引导，负能量也是有闪光点的，挖掘出是什么支持他们走到现在的动力，肯定他们做得好的地方，对于其他抑郁症患者来说也是一个提醒和鼓励。”陈巍表示，以后郁今香还会增加一些个性化需求，把单一的室内活动扩展到室外，补充一些“吃喝玩乐”的形式，比如组织观影会、运动会、学习小组等等，给抑郁症患者更多的体验，转移他们的注意力，暂时减少忧郁的情绪。而对于比较严重的患者，陈巍则希望通过上门探访的形式，让他们感受到被理解与被关怀。
As the first officially registered mutual aid organization of depression sufferers in the mainland of China， Chen Wei had a very hard beginning. In the beginning they did not have fixed venue and had to use the free offices offered by friends， moving from one to another. In order not to make the patients affected by the change of the venue， Chen Wei came up with a plan of “Sanshierli”， whose content was to find 300 partners， and let everyone of them donate 10 RMB every month to be the rent of the venue for activities. Chen Wei said， though they had not found 300 persons， the goal of the plan had been accomplished. Besides the money donated by the partners every month， great help was given by the fundation and relevant organizations also to the Tulip for solving the problem of the rent. Now he is looking for the best venue for activities. He said， since they lacked capital and personnel， they must be careful with every step.
Chen Wei has said that one of the working directions of Tulip this year is the strategy of internationalizing communication. At present Tulip has joined the World Federation for Mental Health （WFMH） and the DBSA， the largest supporting organization for depression. In addition， it has had connection with countries and regions such as America， Germany， Hong Kong and Taiwan， hoping to learn from the experience of different places. He hopes that the Tulip could come up with a mature “template”， and the good template could be promoted widely and therefore mutual aid organizations would pop up across the country. His long-term goal is to develop Tulip into a training base of mutual aid organizations for depression， which offers profession personnel for the organizations in different places and shares experience. He said， at first he planned to put himself into public welfare course for ten years， but now he realized that it was a lifelong course. Now， shortage of personnel and capital is still the largest problem of Tulip and Chen Wei expects eagerly that all sectors of society could offer more care and help to depression sufferers. As what he said： "It is good to be away from depression， but please be close to depression sufferers."
作为中国大陆第一个正式注册的抑郁症患者互助组织，陈巍刚开始走得很艰难。最初他们并没有固定的活动场所，只能辗转在朋友提供的免费办公室中。为了不让空间上的流动影响到活动参与者，陈巍发起了“三十而立”计划，计划寻求300个伙伴，每人每月捐10元，用于支付活动室的租金。陈巍说，虽然没有找齐300个伙伴，但是活动的目的已经达到了，除了每月捐钱的伙伴们，还有基金会和相关组织也给予了郁今香帮助，解决了房租问题。目前他仍然在谨慎地寻找最佳的活动场所，他说，因为资金和人手短缺，每一步都要走得十分小心。
陈巍介绍，郁今香今年的工作方向之一是国际化交流战略，目前已经加盟世界精神卫生联盟（WFMH）以及世界最大的抑郁支持组织DBSA，并且与美国、德国、香港、台湾等国家和地区建立了联系，希望从世界各地学习经验。他希望郁今香能够形成一套成熟的“模板”，先把模板做好再进行较大规模的推广，带动各地都建立起抑郁症患者的互助组织。他的长远目标是把郁今香发展成一个抑郁症互助机构的培训基地，为各地的机构输送专业人员、分享经验，并成立“中国抑郁症支持联盟”，扶持和带领其他抑郁患者互助机构建立与发展。他说，“本来希望做十年公益就好，但现在看来，这是一辈子的事情。”如今，资金和人手不足仍是郁今香面临的最大问题，陈巍仍然迫切地希望社会各界能够给抑郁症患者更多的关注和帮助，正如他所说：“可以远离抑郁，但请走近抑郁症患者。”