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老实就像一个陷阱,孩子一旦把自己放在一个需要被“证明”的弱势位置,就会出现焦虑与时刻防御的状态,那样的话,宽容和善良这些美好的品质便会变得可疑。1有一阵子,儿子表现得心事重重。问及原由他总是顾左右而言他,直到我发现了他胳膊上青紫的淤血以及手背上的几处抓痕。伤成那样,儿子却没吱声,我欲言又止,心想:兴许是他与同学打闹,玩笑开得有点儿过吧。晚饭时,他爸问:“儿子,胳膊怎么弄成那个样子?”儿子神情极不自然:“我,我摔着了。”显然是谎言。他爸皱着眉头接着追问:“摔能摔到手背啊。”
Honestly as a trap, once the child places himself in a disadvantaged position that needs to be “proven,” there will be a state of anxiety and moment defense, in which case the good qualities of tolerance and goodness will become suspicious. For a while, his son was very worried. Asked why he always looked around him until I found bruises on his arm and a few scratches on his back. His wounds were like that, but his son did not say a word. I could not stop talking. I thought maybe he and his classmates slapstick and joked a little too far. At dinner, his dad asked: “How did the son and his arm look like?” “The son looked very unnaturally:” I, I fell. “It is obviously a lie. His father frowned and then asked: ”fall can throw hand back ah. "