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现代社会,“交际圈”在一圈圈扩大,“朋友圈”却在缩小——交际毕竟不是交友。交际是现代人的社会需要,交友却是人类的永恒母题。关于两者的区别,被称为“文化昆仑”的钱钟书先生曾这样说:“交际以礼为重,而交友以情为主。客座宾筵之酬酢,宾主幕僚之晋接,自公退食,往来报施……皆礼之所尚;而礼者,忠信之薄,缘饰以节文者也。同声合志,求声投契,以至于略名位而忘形骸,发乎情而永为好,情则忠信之未尝薄而不容文胜灭质焉。”(《管锥编》995-996页)偏重礼与偏重情,这就是两者的根本区别。礼,是社会规范,是社会机器运转的润滑剂,是固定下来的礼仪程
In modern society, “social circle ” expand in a circle, “circle of friends ” is narrowing - after all, communication is not a friend. Communication is the social needs of modern people, making friends is the eternal motif of mankind. As for the difference between the two, Mr. Qian Zhongshu, who is called “Cultural Kunlun,” once said: “Communication is courtesy and friendship is based on emotion. , Since retirement from food, contacts reported facilities ... ... are rituals are still; and the ceremony, the loyalty of the thin, edge decorated with the article also. Concurrently together, seeking the sound of allegiance, so slightly forgotten Sphinx, hair It is the fundamental difference between the two that love and love are always good, while love and faith are indifferent to thin and incompatible. ”(“ Cone Cone, ”pp. 995-996). Etiquette, a social norm, is a lubricant that operates on social machines and is a fixed etiquette course