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一份来自于离婚原因的调查报告表明,在导致夫妻关系恶化的众多因素中,挑剔、猜疑和揭短是夫妻和谐与美满的敌人。 挑剔,就是吹毛求疵,“鸡蛋里面挑骨头”,它对被挑剔者的心理损害相当大。希望得到别人的“赞誉”,这是人们正当的心理需要,夫妻之间也是如此。自己辛辛苦苦、好心好意做一件事,得到的回报不是肯定和赞扬,反而是横挑鼻子竖挑眼,左也不是,右也不是,心里只能是不快、委屈,甚至恼怒。好挑剔常见的原因有二:一是自以为是,总觉得比爱人高明,因而喜欢指手划脚、挑三拣四。二对爱人的期望过高,脱离实际。如果能把自己与爱人的关系摆正摆平,就不会再百
A survey from the causes of divorce shows that among the many factors that have contributed to the deterioration of the marital relationship, pickyness, suspicion and dehumanization are the enemies of the harmony and happiness of couples. Picky, that is, picky, “egg inside picks up bones”, it is quite selective for the psychological damage. Hope to get others “praise”, which is people’s legitimate psychological needs, as well as between husband and wife. Their hard-working, kind-hearted to do one thing, the return is not affirmed and praised, but is vertical pick noses vertical eyes, the left is not, the right is not, my heart can only be unhappy, grievances, or even angry. Common reasons for picky are two: First, self-righteous, always feel smarter than the lover, and therefore like to figure out what to do, pick and choose. Expectations of two lovers too high, out of touch with reality. If we can put ourselves in love with the relationship between the settle, we will not repeat