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I was trying to arrange a business lunch with an acquaintance ofmine--a big-shot record producer, web entrepreneur and socialmaven--and he said: "I can do any day that week, really. Ihaven’t got much on at the moment."
I was so astonished by what he’d said that my mouth went allstrange3. I gabbled "I, er, er, er, er, better look at the calendar and callyou back! Bye!" and then hung up, in some state of discombobulation.Hadn’t got much on at the moment? Any day that week? What did hemean? No one says things like that any more. He was talking like somecrazy throwback5. He might just as well be saying: "I’m off to catch azeppelin to Constantinople."
No one has "not much on at the moment" these days. That’s just a21st-century fact. Talk to a stay-at-home mum at the school gates--dropping her kids off for the next six hours--and she’ll tell you thather life is currently "a bit hectic".
People with perfectly normal office jobs are "flat out". People withslightly more demanding jobs are "not even putting my head above theParapets before Christmas"．Even my dole-scum relatives--whose lives rev01ve around the sofa，the microwave and thedodgy baccy man--stiU talk of"fitting things in"and"thingsbeing a bit mental at the mo"．Although,of course，for the one on Incapacity Benefit for Psychotic and schiZO-Phrenictendencies，that’s obviously just a factual statement．
And if yOU ring uP someone，"in demand"—a celebrity，bUSinessman or Politician--and ask their"peoPle"forsome"face time",they just laugh hysterically and Put thePhone down．
I think that，currently you’re allowed to say a single，well—chosen word to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie before beingwhisked out of the hotel SUite．Then their"people"fax you their answer，later．
Everyone is time-Poor．Everyone is rushing around．I daresay there are tramps in Central London who are booked up until mid-SePtember, No one will admit that they had quite a quiet week 1ast week．As part of the work ethic bashed into US during the Thatcher years，it has become morally susPect tobe anything other than rushed off our feet． Most PeoPle would rather develop some disease that makes them smell offish than admit to sizeable tracts of free time． Being unengaged is worse than being Poor，fat，and friendless．But of course，it’s not the imPlicit moral suPeriorit)，that has made busvness so universal．After all，vou could claim instant moralsuperiority，simPly by reusing aPlastic bag，and we’re still beingaPathetic about that.
No．BUSyness is so poPularbecause it’s the magic ticket todoing whatever the hell youwant．You have carte blanche tolive a wholly selfish life，if yonhave a full enough diary Youknow，you simply don’t need tObother with society if you’re "busy". Lonely old lady next door?Obviously somebody needs to go and do these things--andprobably quite urgently, judging by that odd, stair-falling soundthat came from the old lady’s house last night but it’s not going to be someone who’s chockablock until mid-Oct, earliest, is it?
Likewise, your family and friends. Obviously in an ideal worldyou would go and visit your mother every weekend--but do youknow what’s standing between me and you, Mum. And this "thing"is just too tedious to tell you about. If you plaintively ask me againto come and see you, I might burn out on your doorstep.
You can weasel out of rotas with a rueful "I’m snowed under"The absence of a birthday present can be unarguably explained withan almost cheerful "I’m so busy! I forgot!" Inform people of yourbusyness early on in a conversation--effectively win the battle ofwho is the most in demand--and it gives you an almost Godlikeability to dictate the terms of your relationship for the next tenyears.
There are people of my acquaintance who established theirdebilitating busyness so early on that they have never yet had topick up their own children from school, cook a meal, answer a textmessage within 48 hours, turn up on time, or talk about anyoneapart from themselves.
Additionally when someone "super-busy" deigns to actually talkto you, you’re apt to feel so pathetically grateful and "chosen" thatyou eagerly agree with everything they say, try to stopthem fiddling with their BlackBerries by repeatedlytelling them how amazing it is to see them, and leap upto get their coffee to maximise your time-slot.
In short, being busy gives you nearly every lifeadvantage that celebrity does, but without the hassleof the paparazzi. No wonder everyone is so keen toappear frantically occupied. Even if they are just onthe phones to their mums, lying about how busythey are.
I was so astonished by what he’d said that my mouth went allstrange3. I gabbled "I, er, er, er, er, better look at the calendar and callyou back! Bye!" and then hung up, in some state of discombobulation.Hadn’t got much on at the moment? Any day that week? What did hemean? No one says things like that any more. He was talking like somecrazy throwback5. He might just as well be saying: "I’m off to catch azeppelin to Constantinople."
No one has "not much on at the moment" these days. That’s just a21st-century fact. Talk to a stay-at-home mum at the school gates--dropping her kids off for the next six hours--and she’ll tell you thather life is currently "a bit hectic".
People with perfectly normal office jobs are "flat out". People withslightly more demanding jobs are "not even putting my head above theParapets before Christmas"．Even my dole-scum relatives--whose lives rev01ve around the sofa，the microwave and thedodgy baccy man--stiU talk of"fitting things in"and"thingsbeing a bit mental at the mo"．Although,of course，for the one on Incapacity Benefit for Psychotic and schiZO-Phrenictendencies，that’s obviously just a factual statement．
And if yOU ring uP someone，"in demand"—a celebrity，bUSinessman or Politician--and ask their"peoPle"forsome"face time",they just laugh hysterically and Put thePhone down．
I think that，currently you’re allowed to say a single，well—chosen word to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie before beingwhisked out of the hotel SUite．Then their"people"fax you their answer，later．
Everyone is time-Poor．Everyone is rushing around．I daresay there are tramps in Central London who are booked up until mid-SePtember, No one will admit that they had quite a quiet week 1ast week．As part of the work ethic bashed into US during the Thatcher years，it has become morally susPect tobe anything other than rushed off our feet． Most PeoPle would rather develop some disease that makes them smell offish than admit to sizeable tracts of free time． Being unengaged is worse than being Poor，fat，and friendless．But of course，it’s not the imPlicit moral suPeriorit)，that has made busvness so universal．After all，vou could claim instant moralsuperiority，simPly by reusing aPlastic bag，and we’re still beingaPathetic about that.
No．BUSyness is so poPularbecause it’s the magic ticket todoing whatever the hell youwant．You have carte blanche tolive a wholly selfish life，if yonhave a full enough diary Youknow，you simply don’t need tObother with society if you’re "busy". Lonely old lady next door?Obviously somebody needs to go and do these things--andprobably quite urgently, judging by that odd, stair-falling soundthat came from the old lady’s house last night but it’s not going to be someone who’s chockablock until mid-Oct, earliest, is it?
Likewise, your family and friends. Obviously in an ideal worldyou would go and visit your mother every weekend--but do youknow what’s standing between me and you, Mum. And this "thing"is just too tedious to tell you about. If you plaintively ask me againto come and see you, I might burn out on your doorstep.
You can weasel out of rotas with a rueful "I’m snowed under"The absence of a birthday present can be unarguably explained withan almost cheerful "I’m so busy! I forgot!" Inform people of yourbusyness early on in a conversation--effectively win the battle ofwho is the most in demand--and it gives you an almost Godlikeability to dictate the terms of your relationship for the next tenyears.
There are people of my acquaintance who established theirdebilitating busyness so early on that they have never yet had topick up their own children from school, cook a meal, answer a textmessage within 48 hours, turn up on time, or talk about anyoneapart from themselves.
Additionally when someone "super-busy" deigns to actually talkto you, you’re apt to feel so pathetically grateful and "chosen" thatyou eagerly agree with everything they say, try to stopthem fiddling with their BlackBerries by repeatedlytelling them how amazing it is to see them, and leap upto get their coffee to maximise your time-slot.
In short, being busy gives you nearly every lifeadvantage that celebrity does, but without the hassleof the paparazzi. No wonder everyone is so keen toappear frantically occupied. Even if they are just onthe phones to their mums, lying about how busythey are.