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On August 24th， 2015， the first law draft on anti-domestic violence in China was submitted to the Standing Committee of the National People’s Congress for deliberation. The news was definitely the gospel of children in China and made people who care for children’s healthy growth feel delighted. At the same time， the domestic violence on children once again triggered the high attention by the public opinion.
2015年8月24日，中国首部反家庭暴力法草案提交全国人大常委会审议。这则消息无疑是中国儿童的福音，也令所有关注儿童健康成长的人士倍感欣慰。与此同时，儿童家暴问题再次引发舆论的高度关注。
The stunning number of cases of
minors suffering from domestic violence
未成年人遭受家庭暴力之数目令人惊心
There are slight differences of various groups’ definitions on domestic violence.
The Women’s Resource and Rape Assistance Program mainly focuses on abuse between couples and its social influence， which means it is done by one side of the couple for obtaining or keeping the control of the other. “Domestic violence can be physical， sexual， emotional， economic， or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. Domestic violence not only affects those who are abused but also has a substantial effect on family members， friends， coworkers， other witnesses， and the community at large.”
The World Health Organization describes the actions of domestic violence by examples， pointing out that body abuse includes： slapping， shaking， beating with fist or object， strangulation， burning， kicking and threats with a knife； sexual abuse includes coerced sex through threats or intimidation or through physical force， forcing unwanted sexual acts， forcing sex in front of others and forcing sex with others； mental abuse includes isolation from others， excessive jealousy， control of his or her activities， verbal aggression， intimidation through destruction of property， harassment or stalking， threats of violence and constant belittling and humiliation.
United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund （UNICEF） stressed that， to let minors see or indirectly hear or observe domestic violence and its consequences also belongs to the mental abuse of minors.
不同组织对家庭暴力的定义分类有些微不同。
妇女资源和强奸受害者援助计划主要关注伴侣之间的虐待行为及其社会影响，指其由一方伴侣向另一方实施，以获得或保持对另一方的掌控权。“家庭暴力可以是身体、性、感情、经济或心理方面的动作或威胁行为……不仅波及受虐者，亦对家庭成员、朋友、同事、其他目击者、乃至整个社会造成重大影响。”
世界卫生组织举例描述了家庭暴力的具体行为，指出身体虐待包括“掌掴、摇动、用拳头或物体殴打、勒杀、焚烧、脚踢和用刀威胁”；性虐待包括“通过威胁、恐吓或身体力量实施的强迫性行为、强迫性动作、强迫在他人面前进行性行为及与他人发生性关系”；心理虐待包括“将受害者与他人隔离、过分嫉妒、控制受害者活动、言语攻击、以破坏财产进行恐吓、骚扰或跟踪、暴力威胁及不断贬低和侮辱受害者”。 联合国儿童基金会还强调，让未成年人亲眼目睹、间接听见或观察到家庭暴力行为及其后果也属于对未成年人的精神虐待。
The law draft on anti-domestic violence in China hasn’t listed the mental abuse and defines domestic violence as “abusive actions on home members by beating， binding， slaughtering and limiting personal freedom and so on.” Xinhua News Agency premised the words of Liu Li， Deputy Chief Judge of the Olympic Village Court of Chaoyang District of Beijing that， the statistics of domestic violence cases in China show that cases of physical abuse account for a larger part， so as the first draft， it should solve the main problem. But since the clauses add “and so on” at the end of the behaviors， it leaves room for explanation on other types of domestic violence.”
The statistics of UNICEF in 2014 show that， the proportions of Chinese children being abused by their father and mother are 43.3% and 43.1% respectively and only 20.1% of boys and 29.5% of girls have never been abused by any violence. Around the world， every 6 children in 10 from the age of 2 to 14 （about 1 billion people） are abused by their keepers all year round. 1/3 of girls from the age of 15 to 19 （about 84 million people） were abused by their husbands or mates mentally， physically or sexually. 40% of child abuse happen in home and children grew up in domestic families are more easily to be abused physically or sexually compared with those in ordinary families.
The family statistics of Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development （OECD） in 2013 show that， among its members， America has the highest proportion of death of children （0-19） caused by neglecting， abuse and violent treatment by keepers， about 4 times that of other members except Mexico with 1350 people per year. But Luxembourg， Portugal， South Korea， Slovakia and Switzerland don’t have the records like this. Scholar Friedman found that， compared with other countries， the proportion of children died of parents’ abuse in America is higher. Domestic violence has become the most frequent element that persecute children’s health compared with drug abuse， alcohol and family mental illness.
中国此次的反家庭暴力法草案，暂时未列入精神方面的侵害，而将家庭暴力定义为“以殴打、捆绑、残害、强行限制人身自由等方式，对家庭成员实施的侵害行为。”新华社援引北京市朝阳区人民法院奥运村法庭副庭长刘黎的话，中国家庭暴力案例的历史数据证明，身体虐待案占比例最大，因此作为首部草案，须优先解决问题的主要矛盾。不过，由于条款在例举一些家暴行为后加上了“等”字，“为其他形式家暴留下了解释空间。”
联合国儿童基金会2014年统计表明，中国儿童遭受父母亲暴力对待的比率分别为43.3%和43.1%，仅有20.1%的男童和29.5%的女童16岁前未受过任何暴力行为。全球2至14周岁儿童每10名中便有6名（近10亿人）常年遭到看护人体罚，三分之一的15至19周岁少女（8，400万人）曾受其丈夫或伴侣情感、身体或性暴力侵害。40%虐待儿童的行为发生在家中，生长于家暴家庭的儿童较一般家庭儿童更可能遭受身体及性虐待。 经济合作与发展组织2013年家庭数据库指出，成员国中美国0-19岁儿童因看护人疏忽、虐待或暴力对待致死的比率最高，约为除墨西哥之外的其他成员国的四倍，平均每年有1，350人，而卢森堡、葡萄牙、韩国、斯洛伐克和瑞士没有该类儿童死亡的记录。学者弗里德曼研究发现，相较于其他国家，美国儿童死于父母伤害的比率更高。家庭暴力已成为超过滥用药物、酒精和家庭心理疾病的最常见迫害儿童健康因素。
Domestic violence
affects the life
家暴影响人生
The question of the online questions and answer community Quaro saying “many children in China were treated violently by their parents， why they have not had large scale of mental trauma when they grow up” has attracted the attention of 19753 people and 2901 answered. The mostly agreed answer was that although I seem like a lucky man with “good family and successful career” in others’ eyes， actually I attempted suicide when I was 15 due to the abuse of my parents and many times cannot see the hope of life when I grow up. “I am a leader of a small group but I dare not to scold anyone； I always try to play up to the authority includes my lover； I extremely care about others’ comments， especially the negative ones， which would make me not be able to face myself for a while； I cannot think things to sleep like you do since any negative things would make me cry， so for many years I listen to cross talk to sleep； I treat feeling with indifference and dare not to love others by asking for more and devoting less， I would feel panic if my lover doesn’t reply me for busy work that I would think I did something wrong and he would leave me； I feel uncomfortable in occasions of speeches， I have humpback and don’t prick up myself since I think I don’t deserve it； I know I should be very happy but I feel lonely forever.”
These expressions are exact the same as the analysis of psychologists of American Children's Bureau. Children in families of domestic violence are easier to have obstacles in study， social contact， behavior， emotion， attitude and cognition compared with ordinary people， and they have no sympathy for others， fear many things and like to flinch， lack self-esteem and self-confidence and cannot handle conflicts and contrasts. Children under the age of 5 may even have backward development， and eating， excretion and sleep problems. In a women and children shelter institution in Taiwan， a little boy from a family of domestic violence always hurts himself by hitting the wall and a 6-year-old girl doesn’t smile for a whole day and just washed clothes instead of playing outside. Chen Jingqi， from the Institute of Child and Adolescent Health of Peking University， did a research on 3577 college students and found that， students who had experience of abuse have more frequent depression compared with those didn’t have. The number of students from the former group who seriously thought about suicide was 22.5 times and 16.3 times for boys and girls respectively compared with the latter one and the number of them in violent fighting was 6.1 times and 16.5 times respectively. 中国网络问答社区知乎上关于“中国很多孩子被父母暴力对待过，为什么成年后没有出现大规模的心理创伤？”的问题吸引了19，753人关注，2，901人回答。其中获得高票赞同的回答表示，自己虽然在旁人看来是一个“家庭事业双丰收”的幸运儿，但事实上15岁时就因不堪父母辱骂自杀未遂，成年后亦无数次觉得看不到生活的希望。“我是一个小团体内的leader，但是几乎不敢批评任何人；我永远在讨好权威，包括爱人；我极其在意别人的评价，特别是负面反馈，会让我一段时间内都无法正视自己；我不敢像你们一样想着事情睡觉，想到任何负面的事情都会哭，所以多年以来，一直听着相声入睡；我对情感极度漠视，不敢爱，索取得多，付出得少，和爱人联系，对方忙工作没回复，我都会惶恐不安，觉得自己做错了事情，他不要我了；我在需要发言的场合永远不自信，驼背、不敢打扮自己，潜意识里觉得自己不配；我知道自己应该很幸福，但是永远觉得孤独。”
这些表现与美国儿童局心理学家的分析如出一辙。身处家庭暴力的儿童和青少年比一般人更可能出现学习、社交、行为、情绪、态度和认知障碍，或者表现出焦虑、自责和愤怒，对他人没有同情心，或者恐惧退缩、缺乏自尊自信，不会处理冲突和矛盾。小于5岁的儿童甚至可能出现发育倒退，进食、排泄和睡眠问题。台湾一家妇女儿童庇护机构中，一名来自家暴家庭的小男孩常常撞墙自残，6岁小女孩整日没有笑容，不出去玩只埋头洗衣服。北京大学儿童青少年卫生研究所陈晶琦对中国3，577名大中专学生的调查表明，童年有过受虐经历的学生，其抑郁情绪出现频率明显高于无受虐经历的学生，前者之中认真考虑过自杀的男生和女生人数分别为后者的22.5倍和16.3倍，卷入暴力斗殴的人数分别为6.1倍和16.5倍。
More seriously， the domestic violence may spread to the next generation and become vicious circle. According to the materials of the United Nations Children’s Fund， for families of women being abused by husbands， the probability of husbands being abused or seeing mother abused during childhood is very high. Over 70% of abused children need mental treatment or are more likely to become abuser. Those children may think nobody cares about them or domestic affairs and violence is the expression of love that it can solve problems and control others. But not all of them would become abusers when grow up. Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse found that 15% of the children would try to stop violence of which 6% would ask for help and 9% would protect the victims or try to stop the violence since they know it is wrong.
But it is beyond question that the influence of domestic violence on minors would last for a life time. Star Lin Xiaopei once said she would adopt children but not get married or have children “I feel insecure about men which comes from my father… I came from a single-parent family and my father abused me. It took me a long time to adjust myself of the influence. I think I am not suitable for having a child.”
更严重的是，这种家庭暴力很可能延伸至下一代，陷入恶性循环。根据联合国儿童基金会资料，妇女受到丈夫家暴的家庭中，丈夫在其儿童时期受虐或目睹母亲受虐的概率很高。超过70%的家暴儿童需要接受心理治疗，否则很可能转为施暴者。在暴力家庭成长的孩子或许会认为无人会关心或插手家中发生的事情，暴力是爱的表现，可以用其解决问题、驯服掌控他人。当然，并非所有儿童长大后都会成为施虐者。反暴力和虐待明尼苏达中心发现，15%面临虐待的儿童会试图阻止暴力行为，其中6%会向外寻求帮助，9%会积极试图保护受害者或制止暴力，因为他们知道家庭暴力是错误的。
但毫无疑问，家庭暴力对未成年人的影响将伴随终身。明星林晓培曾表示会领养儿童，但不打算结婚生子：“我对男生的不安全感，来自我父亲……我来自单亲家庭，父亲的家暴让我花了很多时间调整原生家庭带来的状态，我认为，我不适合生育小孩。”
Some domestic violence is not “domestic violence”
家暴不是“家暴”
It has always been a global problem for minors suffering domestic violence， but compared with women in this regard， it is less focused and studied. One of the reason may be the public opinion – many people， including those being abused don’t think some behavior belongs to domestic violence. The statistics of the UNICEF show that， about 3/10 of grown-ups think it is necessary to do physical punishment for educating and cultivating children and half of the girls from the age of 15 to 19 （about 126 million people） think it is proper for husband sometimes hit or beat the wife. Among the member of OECD， except in Denmark and Sweden， most of the parents think it is unacceptable to do physical punishment on children， the parents of many other countries think it is a way to make the children behave orderly by slight physical punishment like slapping or spanking and they admit they do things like this at ordinary times. According to the survey of the women’s federation in Guangzhou， only 37.5% of the interviewees think physical punishment on children belongs to domestic violence and the victims would call the police after being abused of 35 times at average.
未成年人遭受家庭暴力一直是一个全球性问题，但相比于妇女遭受家庭暴力，其关注度和研究力度都偏低，原因之一可能是社会观念——许多人，甚至包括受虐者在内，不认为一些行为属于家庭暴力。
联合国儿童基金会数据表明，约十分之三的成年人相信体罚对正确教导和培养孩子必不可少，半数15至19周岁少女（约1.26亿人）认为有时丈夫攻击或殴打妻子是合理的。经合组织成员国中，除丹麦和瑞典大部分家长认为体罚孩子不可接受外，许多国家家长都相信诸如掌掴或打屁股之类的轻微体罚是教育孩子守纪律的可行方法，他们承认自己平时会使用这些方式进行教导。2014年中国广州妇联的调查中，仅37.5%的受访者认为家长打孩子属于家暴行为，受害者平均遭遇35次家暴后才会报警。
According to the Canadian report， in the lawsuit that was called the “worst case of abuse the police has ever seen” by Ottawa police， the 11-year-old boy had many scratches and scars on his body and was of malnutrition. But his stepmother claimed that the child was “out of control” and was diagnosed of attention deficit disorder and had mental drug therapy， “I did nothing”， but the boy’s father admitted he had chained the boy in the basement by chains and plastic belts.
In 2013， two little girls were found dead at home because of starvation， and the reason may be their mother left them at home for a long time without care. There was similar situation before， fortunately， they went out and were found by the neighbors. The neighbors once suggested sending them to children welfare association， but since they got their mother， it didn’t work. At last， the avoidable tragedy happened.
加拿大媒体报道，在一项渥太华警察称为“警方见过的最恶劣的虐待案”诉讼中，11岁受虐男孩身上有多处抓伤、疤痕且营养不良，但其继母声称孩子已经“失控”，曾被诊断患有注意力缺陷障碍，在接受精神药物治疗，“我什么都没做”，而男孩生父承认自己用链子和塑料长带把男孩锁在家中地下室里。
2013年，南京两名女童被发现饿死家中，原因可能是母亲长时间将孩子独自留在房中不顾。之前也曾遇到类似情况，所幸当时女童跑出家门，被邻居发现才没有饿死。而邻居曾提议将女童送往儿童福利院，但因母亲尚健在，福利院无法收容。最终，这场本可避免的悲剧发生了。
“People always think domestic violence belongs to private affairs and should be solved by oneself. Even calling the police means just conciliation.” China Youth News premised the words of Professor Li Hongtao of China Women's University. Before the law draft of anti-domestic violence， the clauses relate to this regard exist in laws and regulations like Marriage Law and Law of Protection Minors that many lawyers think it is not practicable. People’s Daily once commented that， for cases relate to parents’ abuse on minors’ legal rights and interests， the accountability system is not complete and the punishment is not enough that many abusers haven’t been punished effectively and cannot change parents’ idea of sparing the rod and spoiling the child. Therefore， the legislation and law popularization are both necessary for improving the public awareness of minors being abused by domestic violence and protecting them from being hurt.
“很多时候，人们都觉得家暴是私事，应该关起门来自己解决。即使报警，也多是调解调解就完事了。”《中国青年报》引述中华女子学院教授李洪涛的话说。中国反家庭暴力法草案出台前，与反家暴相关的条款散布于《婚姻法》、《未成年人保护法》等法律法规中，许多律师认为缺乏可操作性。《人民日报》曾评论，在未成年人合法权益受父母侵害的案件中，“责任追究制度不够完善”，“处罚方式如同隔靴搔痒，导致很多家暴得不到有效处罚”，难以扭转父母“不打不成器”的观念。
由此可见，要提高社会对未成年人遭受家庭暴力的认识，保护未成年人免受家暴危害，立法和普法缺一不可。
Keep minors away from domestic violence
让未成年人远离家暴
The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child asks that， “any cruel torture or punishment on children that would bring harm to them were forbidden. Children have been hurt， neglected or abused have the rights to get help. Children have the rights to know their rights and interests. Adults should know these rights and interests and help children understand them.”
In European Union，18 countries have the act for protecting children that clearly said how to define， report， evaluate and protect children suffering from violence， abuse and neglect. 13 countries have specific national policy for protecting children and all country members have related clauses for evaluating children’s living condition and ask all the staff contacting to children have the responsibility to report to children protection institution once they are found abused. Like the National Program on Prevention of Violence Against Children and for Assistance to Children 2011–2015 for keeping children away from violence and providing aid for them， it arranged experts in many institutions to train the staff how to identify kinds of violence and help children； Holland organized an interdisciplinary team to evaluate possible children abuse case and formulate protection measures； the Youth Care Services in Belgium signed a cooperative agreement with the Birth and Childhood Office to strengthen the cooperation between teenager care workers and office community health workers. But in some countries due to the excessive working load of specialties and lack of staff， it is hard to implement the set standard.
《联合国儿童权利公约》规定，“禁止任何人对儿童实施酷刑或造成伤害的处罚。如果曾经受到伤害、忽视或虐待，儿童有权获得帮助。儿童有权了解自己的权利。大人应该了解这些权利，并帮助儿童了解它们。”
在欧盟，有18个国家拥有保护儿童的法案，明确指出如何界定、报告、评估和保护遭受暴力、虐待和忽视行为的儿童受害者。13个国家制定了保护儿童的具体国策，所有成员国都有评定儿童生存状况的相关条款，规定与儿童接触的专职人员发现儿童受虐时有义务向儿童保护机构报告。如立陶宛于2011至2015年间实施防止暴力伤害儿童和援助儿童的国家项目，由专家在多间机构培训职员如何鉴别各种暴力形式，帮助受害儿童；荷兰组建了一只跨学科的专业团队，评估可能的儿童虐待案件并订立保护措施；比利时青少年关怀机构与婴童办公室签订了一项合作协议，加强青少年护理工作者与办公室社会医务人员的合作。但也有一些国家由于专业人员工作繁重或缺少人力，难以贯彻既定标准。 The law draft of China has learned from the experience of other countries and made school， medical aid agencies and public welfare institutions have the responsibility to report， if they didn’t report and caused serious consequence， related people in charge should be punished； people’s court can issue “personal safety protective order” when necessary to forbid abuser contacting or abusing victim and it can repeal the guardian qualification if children under guardianship were badly abused by the guardian. Domestic violence is not the home business for each family any more， the law enforcement agency finally has the law to abide by and the tragedy in Nanjing would not happen again.
In order to insure the law enforcement effectiveness， Li Hongtao said the law enforcement agency should be trained professionally. The news about abused woman stabbed to death by her husband in the police station shocked the whole country and showed the poor protection of the agency. Li said when the victim called the police， the policeman just said coldly for getting evidence “take of your clothes！” that the victim was mentally hurt for the second time. The UN conference documents also advised that China should set up the multi-cooperated anti-domestic violence interventional mechanism， perfect the punishment measures on abusers， improve law enforcement， carry out publicity and education of anti-domestic violence and self-protection through media and schools， provide professional shelter， medical service and mental rehabilitation service for survivors and offer mental and abstinence counselling treatment for abusers.
It is meaningful and imperative to protect minors from domestic violence. Just like what Yin Jianli said in her book A Good Mother Is Better than A Good Teacher， to learn how to be parents， “the simplest first step is not to beat and scold children anymore and not to be a savage wearing business suit.”
此次中国反家庭暴力法草案借鉴了其他国家的保护经验，规定学校、医疗救助、社会福利等机构有报告义务，若未报案而造成严重后果的，相关责任人须接受处分；人民法院必要时可发出“人身安全保护令”，禁止加害人再次接触、加害受害者，并可依法撤销严重侵害被监护人合法权益的监护人资格。家庭暴力不再是各人家务事，执法机关亦终于有法可依，南京儿童惨死的案件当不会重现。
为保证法律执行效力，李洪涛认为执法机构需要专业培训。此前家暴的女子在警察局被丈夫砍死的新闻震惊全国，这体现了执法机构保护不力。李洪涛说有的受害者报警后，警察取证时冷冰冰道“脱！”，让受害者受到二次心理创伤。联合国会议文件还建议，中国应建立多部门合作的反家庭暴力干预机制，完善惩戒施暴者的措施，加强执法力度，并通过媒体及学校进行广泛的反家暴和自我保护宣传教育，为家暴幸存者提供专业庇护、医疗、心理康复服务，对施暴者进行心理、精神、戒瘾等辅导治疗。
保护未成年人免受家庭暴力侵害意义深远，势在必行。正如《好妈妈胜过好老师》一书作者尹建莉所写，学习做父母，“最简单的第一步就是不再打骂孩子，不做穿西装的野人。”
2015年8月24日，中国首部反家庭暴力法草案提交全国人大常委会审议。这则消息无疑是中国儿童的福音，也令所有关注儿童健康成长的人士倍感欣慰。与此同时，儿童家暴问题再次引发舆论的高度关注。
The stunning number of cases of
minors suffering from domestic violence
未成年人遭受家庭暴力之数目令人惊心
There are slight differences of various groups’ definitions on domestic violence.
The Women’s Resource and Rape Assistance Program mainly focuses on abuse between couples and its social influence， which means it is done by one side of the couple for obtaining or keeping the control of the other. “Domestic violence can be physical， sexual， emotional， economic， or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. Domestic violence not only affects those who are abused but also has a substantial effect on family members， friends， coworkers， other witnesses， and the community at large.”
The World Health Organization describes the actions of domestic violence by examples， pointing out that body abuse includes： slapping， shaking， beating with fist or object， strangulation， burning， kicking and threats with a knife； sexual abuse includes coerced sex through threats or intimidation or through physical force， forcing unwanted sexual acts， forcing sex in front of others and forcing sex with others； mental abuse includes isolation from others， excessive jealousy， control of his or her activities， verbal aggression， intimidation through destruction of property， harassment or stalking， threats of violence and constant belittling and humiliation.
United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund （UNICEF） stressed that， to let minors see or indirectly hear or observe domestic violence and its consequences also belongs to the mental abuse of minors.
不同组织对家庭暴力的定义分类有些微不同。
妇女资源和强奸受害者援助计划主要关注伴侣之间的虐待行为及其社会影响，指其由一方伴侣向另一方实施，以获得或保持对另一方的掌控权。“家庭暴力可以是身体、性、感情、经济或心理方面的动作或威胁行为……不仅波及受虐者，亦对家庭成员、朋友、同事、其他目击者、乃至整个社会造成重大影响。”
世界卫生组织举例描述了家庭暴力的具体行为，指出身体虐待包括“掌掴、摇动、用拳头或物体殴打、勒杀、焚烧、脚踢和用刀威胁”；性虐待包括“通过威胁、恐吓或身体力量实施的强迫性行为、强迫性动作、强迫在他人面前进行性行为及与他人发生性关系”；心理虐待包括“将受害者与他人隔离、过分嫉妒、控制受害者活动、言语攻击、以破坏财产进行恐吓、骚扰或跟踪、暴力威胁及不断贬低和侮辱受害者”。 联合国儿童基金会还强调，让未成年人亲眼目睹、间接听见或观察到家庭暴力行为及其后果也属于对未成年人的精神虐待。
The law draft on anti-domestic violence in China hasn’t listed the mental abuse and defines domestic violence as “abusive actions on home members by beating， binding， slaughtering and limiting personal freedom and so on.” Xinhua News Agency premised the words of Liu Li， Deputy Chief Judge of the Olympic Village Court of Chaoyang District of Beijing that， the statistics of domestic violence cases in China show that cases of physical abuse account for a larger part， so as the first draft， it should solve the main problem. But since the clauses add “and so on” at the end of the behaviors， it leaves room for explanation on other types of domestic violence.”
The statistics of UNICEF in 2014 show that， the proportions of Chinese children being abused by their father and mother are 43.3% and 43.1% respectively and only 20.1% of boys and 29.5% of girls have never been abused by any violence. Around the world， every 6 children in 10 from the age of 2 to 14 （about 1 billion people） are abused by their keepers all year round. 1/3 of girls from the age of 15 to 19 （about 84 million people） were abused by their husbands or mates mentally， physically or sexually. 40% of child abuse happen in home and children grew up in domestic families are more easily to be abused physically or sexually compared with those in ordinary families.
The family statistics of Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development （OECD） in 2013 show that， among its members， America has the highest proportion of death of children （0-19） caused by neglecting， abuse and violent treatment by keepers， about 4 times that of other members except Mexico with 1350 people per year. But Luxembourg， Portugal， South Korea， Slovakia and Switzerland don’t have the records like this. Scholar Friedman found that， compared with other countries， the proportion of children died of parents’ abuse in America is higher. Domestic violence has become the most frequent element that persecute children’s health compared with drug abuse， alcohol and family mental illness.
中国此次的反家庭暴力法草案，暂时未列入精神方面的侵害，而将家庭暴力定义为“以殴打、捆绑、残害、强行限制人身自由等方式，对家庭成员实施的侵害行为。”新华社援引北京市朝阳区人民法院奥运村法庭副庭长刘黎的话，中国家庭暴力案例的历史数据证明，身体虐待案占比例最大，因此作为首部草案，须优先解决问题的主要矛盾。不过，由于条款在例举一些家暴行为后加上了“等”字，“为其他形式家暴留下了解释空间。”
联合国儿童基金会2014年统计表明，中国儿童遭受父母亲暴力对待的比率分别为43.3%和43.1%，仅有20.1%的男童和29.5%的女童16岁前未受过任何暴力行为。全球2至14周岁儿童每10名中便有6名（近10亿人）常年遭到看护人体罚，三分之一的15至19周岁少女（8，400万人）曾受其丈夫或伴侣情感、身体或性暴力侵害。40%虐待儿童的行为发生在家中，生长于家暴家庭的儿童较一般家庭儿童更可能遭受身体及性虐待。 经济合作与发展组织2013年家庭数据库指出，成员国中美国0-19岁儿童因看护人疏忽、虐待或暴力对待致死的比率最高，约为除墨西哥之外的其他成员国的四倍，平均每年有1，350人，而卢森堡、葡萄牙、韩国、斯洛伐克和瑞士没有该类儿童死亡的记录。学者弗里德曼研究发现，相较于其他国家，美国儿童死于父母伤害的比率更高。家庭暴力已成为超过滥用药物、酒精和家庭心理疾病的最常见迫害儿童健康因素。
Domestic violence
affects the life
家暴影响人生
The question of the online questions and answer community Quaro saying “many children in China were treated violently by their parents， why they have not had large scale of mental trauma when they grow up” has attracted the attention of 19753 people and 2901 answered. The mostly agreed answer was that although I seem like a lucky man with “good family and successful career” in others’ eyes， actually I attempted suicide when I was 15 due to the abuse of my parents and many times cannot see the hope of life when I grow up. “I am a leader of a small group but I dare not to scold anyone； I always try to play up to the authority includes my lover； I extremely care about others’ comments， especially the negative ones， which would make me not be able to face myself for a while； I cannot think things to sleep like you do since any negative things would make me cry， so for many years I listen to cross talk to sleep； I treat feeling with indifference and dare not to love others by asking for more and devoting less， I would feel panic if my lover doesn’t reply me for busy work that I would think I did something wrong and he would leave me； I feel uncomfortable in occasions of speeches， I have humpback and don’t prick up myself since I think I don’t deserve it； I know I should be very happy but I feel lonely forever.”
These expressions are exact the same as the analysis of psychologists of American Children's Bureau. Children in families of domestic violence are easier to have obstacles in study， social contact， behavior， emotion， attitude and cognition compared with ordinary people， and they have no sympathy for others， fear many things and like to flinch， lack self-esteem and self-confidence and cannot handle conflicts and contrasts. Children under the age of 5 may even have backward development， and eating， excretion and sleep problems. In a women and children shelter institution in Taiwan， a little boy from a family of domestic violence always hurts himself by hitting the wall and a 6-year-old girl doesn’t smile for a whole day and just washed clothes instead of playing outside. Chen Jingqi， from the Institute of Child and Adolescent Health of Peking University， did a research on 3577 college students and found that， students who had experience of abuse have more frequent depression compared with those didn’t have. The number of students from the former group who seriously thought about suicide was 22.5 times and 16.3 times for boys and girls respectively compared with the latter one and the number of them in violent fighting was 6.1 times and 16.5 times respectively. 中国网络问答社区知乎上关于“中国很多孩子被父母暴力对待过，为什么成年后没有出现大规模的心理创伤？”的问题吸引了19，753人关注，2，901人回答。其中获得高票赞同的回答表示，自己虽然在旁人看来是一个“家庭事业双丰收”的幸运儿，但事实上15岁时就因不堪父母辱骂自杀未遂，成年后亦无数次觉得看不到生活的希望。“我是一个小团体内的leader，但是几乎不敢批评任何人；我永远在讨好权威，包括爱人；我极其在意别人的评价，特别是负面反馈，会让我一段时间内都无法正视自己；我不敢像你们一样想着事情睡觉，想到任何负面的事情都会哭，所以多年以来，一直听着相声入睡；我对情感极度漠视，不敢爱，索取得多，付出得少，和爱人联系，对方忙工作没回复，我都会惶恐不安，觉得自己做错了事情，他不要我了；我在需要发言的场合永远不自信，驼背、不敢打扮自己，潜意识里觉得自己不配；我知道自己应该很幸福，但是永远觉得孤独。”
这些表现与美国儿童局心理学家的分析如出一辙。身处家庭暴力的儿童和青少年比一般人更可能出现学习、社交、行为、情绪、态度和认知障碍，或者表现出焦虑、自责和愤怒，对他人没有同情心，或者恐惧退缩、缺乏自尊自信，不会处理冲突和矛盾。小于5岁的儿童甚至可能出现发育倒退，进食、排泄和睡眠问题。台湾一家妇女儿童庇护机构中，一名来自家暴家庭的小男孩常常撞墙自残，6岁小女孩整日没有笑容，不出去玩只埋头洗衣服。北京大学儿童青少年卫生研究所陈晶琦对中国3，577名大中专学生的调查表明，童年有过受虐经历的学生，其抑郁情绪出现频率明显高于无受虐经历的学生，前者之中认真考虑过自杀的男生和女生人数分别为后者的22.5倍和16.3倍，卷入暴力斗殴的人数分别为6.1倍和16.5倍。
More seriously， the domestic violence may spread to the next generation and become vicious circle. According to the materials of the United Nations Children’s Fund， for families of women being abused by husbands， the probability of husbands being abused or seeing mother abused during childhood is very high. Over 70% of abused children need mental treatment or are more likely to become abuser. Those children may think nobody cares about them or domestic affairs and violence is the expression of love that it can solve problems and control others. But not all of them would become abusers when grow up. Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse found that 15% of the children would try to stop violence of which 6% would ask for help and 9% would protect the victims or try to stop the violence since they know it is wrong.
But it is beyond question that the influence of domestic violence on minors would last for a life time. Star Lin Xiaopei once said she would adopt children but not get married or have children “I feel insecure about men which comes from my father… I came from a single-parent family and my father abused me. It took me a long time to adjust myself of the influence. I think I am not suitable for having a child.”
更严重的是，这种家庭暴力很可能延伸至下一代，陷入恶性循环。根据联合国儿童基金会资料，妇女受到丈夫家暴的家庭中，丈夫在其儿童时期受虐或目睹母亲受虐的概率很高。超过70%的家暴儿童需要接受心理治疗，否则很可能转为施暴者。在暴力家庭成长的孩子或许会认为无人会关心或插手家中发生的事情，暴力是爱的表现，可以用其解决问题、驯服掌控他人。当然，并非所有儿童长大后都会成为施虐者。反暴力和虐待明尼苏达中心发现，15%面临虐待的儿童会试图阻止暴力行为，其中6%会向外寻求帮助，9%会积极试图保护受害者或制止暴力，因为他们知道家庭暴力是错误的。
但毫无疑问，家庭暴力对未成年人的影响将伴随终身。明星林晓培曾表示会领养儿童，但不打算结婚生子：“我对男生的不安全感，来自我父亲……我来自单亲家庭，父亲的家暴让我花了很多时间调整原生家庭带来的状态，我认为，我不适合生育小孩。”
Some domestic violence is not “domestic violence”
家暴不是“家暴”
It has always been a global problem for minors suffering domestic violence， but compared with women in this regard， it is less focused and studied. One of the reason may be the public opinion – many people， including those being abused don’t think some behavior belongs to domestic violence. The statistics of the UNICEF show that， about 3/10 of grown-ups think it is necessary to do physical punishment for educating and cultivating children and half of the girls from the age of 15 to 19 （about 126 million people） think it is proper for husband sometimes hit or beat the wife. Among the member of OECD， except in Denmark and Sweden， most of the parents think it is unacceptable to do physical punishment on children， the parents of many other countries think it is a way to make the children behave orderly by slight physical punishment like slapping or spanking and they admit they do things like this at ordinary times. According to the survey of the women’s federation in Guangzhou， only 37.5% of the interviewees think physical punishment on children belongs to domestic violence and the victims would call the police after being abused of 35 times at average.
未成年人遭受家庭暴力一直是一个全球性问题，但相比于妇女遭受家庭暴力，其关注度和研究力度都偏低，原因之一可能是社会观念——许多人，甚至包括受虐者在内，不认为一些行为属于家庭暴力。
联合国儿童基金会数据表明，约十分之三的成年人相信体罚对正确教导和培养孩子必不可少，半数15至19周岁少女（约1.26亿人）认为有时丈夫攻击或殴打妻子是合理的。经合组织成员国中，除丹麦和瑞典大部分家长认为体罚孩子不可接受外，许多国家家长都相信诸如掌掴或打屁股之类的轻微体罚是教育孩子守纪律的可行方法，他们承认自己平时会使用这些方式进行教导。2014年中国广州妇联的调查中，仅37.5%的受访者认为家长打孩子属于家暴行为，受害者平均遭遇35次家暴后才会报警。
According to the Canadian report， in the lawsuit that was called the “worst case of abuse the police has ever seen” by Ottawa police， the 11-year-old boy had many scratches and scars on his body and was of malnutrition. But his stepmother claimed that the child was “out of control” and was diagnosed of attention deficit disorder and had mental drug therapy， “I did nothing”， but the boy’s father admitted he had chained the boy in the basement by chains and plastic belts.
In 2013， two little girls were found dead at home because of starvation， and the reason may be their mother left them at home for a long time without care. There was similar situation before， fortunately， they went out and were found by the neighbors. The neighbors once suggested sending them to children welfare association， but since they got their mother， it didn’t work. At last， the avoidable tragedy happened.
加拿大媒体报道，在一项渥太华警察称为“警方见过的最恶劣的虐待案”诉讼中，11岁受虐男孩身上有多处抓伤、疤痕且营养不良，但其继母声称孩子已经“失控”，曾被诊断患有注意力缺陷障碍，在接受精神药物治疗，“我什么都没做”，而男孩生父承认自己用链子和塑料长带把男孩锁在家中地下室里。
2013年，南京两名女童被发现饿死家中，原因可能是母亲长时间将孩子独自留在房中不顾。之前也曾遇到类似情况，所幸当时女童跑出家门，被邻居发现才没有饿死。而邻居曾提议将女童送往儿童福利院，但因母亲尚健在，福利院无法收容。最终，这场本可避免的悲剧发生了。
“People always think domestic violence belongs to private affairs and should be solved by oneself. Even calling the police means just conciliation.” China Youth News premised the words of Professor Li Hongtao of China Women's University. Before the law draft of anti-domestic violence， the clauses relate to this regard exist in laws and regulations like Marriage Law and Law of Protection Minors that many lawyers think it is not practicable. People’s Daily once commented that， for cases relate to parents’ abuse on minors’ legal rights and interests， the accountability system is not complete and the punishment is not enough that many abusers haven’t been punished effectively and cannot change parents’ idea of sparing the rod and spoiling the child. Therefore， the legislation and law popularization are both necessary for improving the public awareness of minors being abused by domestic violence and protecting them from being hurt.
“很多时候，人们都觉得家暴是私事，应该关起门来自己解决。即使报警，也多是调解调解就完事了。”《中国青年报》引述中华女子学院教授李洪涛的话说。中国反家庭暴力法草案出台前，与反家暴相关的条款散布于《婚姻法》、《未成年人保护法》等法律法规中，许多律师认为缺乏可操作性。《人民日报》曾评论，在未成年人合法权益受父母侵害的案件中，“责任追究制度不够完善”，“处罚方式如同隔靴搔痒，导致很多家暴得不到有效处罚”，难以扭转父母“不打不成器”的观念。
由此可见，要提高社会对未成年人遭受家庭暴力的认识，保护未成年人免受家暴危害，立法和普法缺一不可。
Keep minors away from domestic violence
让未成年人远离家暴
The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child asks that， “any cruel torture or punishment on children that would bring harm to them were forbidden. Children have been hurt， neglected or abused have the rights to get help. Children have the rights to know their rights and interests. Adults should know these rights and interests and help children understand them.”
In European Union，18 countries have the act for protecting children that clearly said how to define， report， evaluate and protect children suffering from violence， abuse and neglect. 13 countries have specific national policy for protecting children and all country members have related clauses for evaluating children’s living condition and ask all the staff contacting to children have the responsibility to report to children protection institution once they are found abused. Like the National Program on Prevention of Violence Against Children and for Assistance to Children 2011–2015 for keeping children away from violence and providing aid for them， it arranged experts in many institutions to train the staff how to identify kinds of violence and help children； Holland organized an interdisciplinary team to evaluate possible children abuse case and formulate protection measures； the Youth Care Services in Belgium signed a cooperative agreement with the Birth and Childhood Office to strengthen the cooperation between teenager care workers and office community health workers. But in some countries due to the excessive working load of specialties and lack of staff， it is hard to implement the set standard.
《联合国儿童权利公约》规定，“禁止任何人对儿童实施酷刑或造成伤害的处罚。如果曾经受到伤害、忽视或虐待，儿童有权获得帮助。儿童有权了解自己的权利。大人应该了解这些权利，并帮助儿童了解它们。”
在欧盟，有18个国家拥有保护儿童的法案，明确指出如何界定、报告、评估和保护遭受暴力、虐待和忽视行为的儿童受害者。13个国家制定了保护儿童的具体国策，所有成员国都有评定儿童生存状况的相关条款，规定与儿童接触的专职人员发现儿童受虐时有义务向儿童保护机构报告。如立陶宛于2011至2015年间实施防止暴力伤害儿童和援助儿童的国家项目，由专家在多间机构培训职员如何鉴别各种暴力形式，帮助受害儿童；荷兰组建了一只跨学科的专业团队，评估可能的儿童虐待案件并订立保护措施；比利时青少年关怀机构与婴童办公室签订了一项合作协议，加强青少年护理工作者与办公室社会医务人员的合作。但也有一些国家由于专业人员工作繁重或缺少人力，难以贯彻既定标准。 The law draft of China has learned from the experience of other countries and made school， medical aid agencies and public welfare institutions have the responsibility to report， if they didn’t report and caused serious consequence， related people in charge should be punished； people’s court can issue “personal safety protective order” when necessary to forbid abuser contacting or abusing victim and it can repeal the guardian qualification if children under guardianship were badly abused by the guardian. Domestic violence is not the home business for each family any more， the law enforcement agency finally has the law to abide by and the tragedy in Nanjing would not happen again.
In order to insure the law enforcement effectiveness， Li Hongtao said the law enforcement agency should be trained professionally. The news about abused woman stabbed to death by her husband in the police station shocked the whole country and showed the poor protection of the agency. Li said when the victim called the police， the policeman just said coldly for getting evidence “take of your clothes！” that the victim was mentally hurt for the second time. The UN conference documents also advised that China should set up the multi-cooperated anti-domestic violence interventional mechanism， perfect the punishment measures on abusers， improve law enforcement， carry out publicity and education of anti-domestic violence and self-protection through media and schools， provide professional shelter， medical service and mental rehabilitation service for survivors and offer mental and abstinence counselling treatment for abusers.
It is meaningful and imperative to protect minors from domestic violence. Just like what Yin Jianli said in her book A Good Mother Is Better than A Good Teacher， to learn how to be parents， “the simplest first step is not to beat and scold children anymore and not to be a savage wearing business suit.”
此次中国反家庭暴力法草案借鉴了其他国家的保护经验，规定学校、医疗救助、社会福利等机构有报告义务，若未报案而造成严重后果的，相关责任人须接受处分；人民法院必要时可发出“人身安全保护令”，禁止加害人再次接触、加害受害者，并可依法撤销严重侵害被监护人合法权益的监护人资格。家庭暴力不再是各人家务事，执法机关亦终于有法可依，南京儿童惨死的案件当不会重现。
为保证法律执行效力，李洪涛认为执法机构需要专业培训。此前家暴的女子在警察局被丈夫砍死的新闻震惊全国，这体现了执法机构保护不力。李洪涛说有的受害者报警后，警察取证时冷冰冰道“脱！”，让受害者受到二次心理创伤。联合国会议文件还建议，中国应建立多部门合作的反家庭暴力干预机制，完善惩戒施暴者的措施，加强执法力度，并通过媒体及学校进行广泛的反家暴和自我保护宣传教育，为家暴幸存者提供专业庇护、医疗、心理康复服务，对施暴者进行心理、精神、戒瘾等辅导治疗。
保护未成年人免受家庭暴力侵害意义深远，势在必行。正如《好妈妈胜过好老师》一书作者尹建莉所写，学习做父母，“最简单的第一步就是不再打骂孩子，不做穿西装的野人。”