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我所在的办公室里有一对夫妇,处事谨慎,受过良好教育,按自己的“最佳”思想来培育子女。他们注重感情而忽视行为,允许孩子敞开思想、无拘无束地表达自己的思想。在家庭中,孩子享有与大人平等的地位;在选择衣服、交朋友、看电视等方面享有充分的自由。当孩子与校方发生冲突时,他们会站出来极力袒护,而且从不让他们从事家务劳动。所有这些做法,都令人费解。这对夫妇相信他们的这种态度有益于建立牢固的、充满爱的家庭,但是事与愿违。所有这些努力结果只能是造就了一个动辄发火、傲气十足的15岁男孩和一个很自私的13岁女孩。我多次在“家庭与儿童中心”听说过这类故事。
In my office there is a couple who are cautious, well-educated and nurturing their own “best” ideas. They pay attention to feelings and neglect behaviors, allowing children to open their minds and freely express their thoughts. In families, children enjoy equal status with adults and have full freedom in choosing clothes, making friends, watching TV and so on. When a child clashes with the school, they stand up and protect themselves, and never let them do housework. All these practices are inexplicable. The couple believed their attitude was good for establishing a strong, loving family, but the opposite was true. The result of all these efforts can only be a fiery and arrogant 15-year-old boy and a very selfish 13-year-old girl. I’ve heard such stories many times at the Family and Children’s Center.