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【病文展示】苦中有乐(标题无新意) [434203]湖北省松滋市八宝中学刘小洁我告别昔日的轻松与幼稚,回顾往事,心中不免涌出无奈与失落……(开头平淡,情感表达不充分,没有起到奠定全文感情基调,引起下文的作用。)走进初三的教室,充满了紧迫感,让我不得不埋头读书,和那些“X、Y、Z”打成一片,和那些“知乎者也”连在一块。连续几个月,周而复始,这就是我永不停息的生活。(初三之苦的情状未能细腻生动地展现在读者面前,在此要巧借修辞,发挥想像,淋漓尽致地写活切身体验和情感!)
【Disease text display】Bitter bitterness (headline is nothing new) [434203] Liu Zijie, Babao Middle School, Songzi City, Hubei Province I’ll say goodbye to the ease and naivety of the old days. Looking back, I can’t help but feel lost... Insufficient emotional expression did not play a role in laying the foundation for the full-text emotional tone.) Walking into the classroom of the third grade was full of urgency. I had to immerse myself in reading and mingling with the “X, Y, Z”, and Those who “know what they are also” are connected. For months and weeks, this is my never-ending life. (The situation of the third year of suffering has not been shown to the reader in a delicate and vivid way. Here, we must use rhetoric, imagination, and lively experiences and emotions!)