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写作试题：
近年南京市作出决定，允许居民在春节期间定点燃放烟花爆竹。这一决定受到了大多数人的欢迎，也遭到了部分人的反对。最近，你班就春节期间该不该燃放烟花爆竹进行了一场讨论，请根据以下信息写一篇短文，客观介绍你们的讨论情况，并就如何安全燃放烟花提出你的看法。
开头已给出：
The government of Nanjing lifted the ban on fireworks during the 2006 Spring Festival.
写作改析一：
The government of Nanjing lifted the ban on fireworks during the 2006 Spring Festival. Recently, our class had a discussion about whether we should be allowed to set off fireworks.
The class have been divided into two parts①. There are 60% of the students ② agree with the decision. They think that setting off fireworks can add to the festival atmosphere. They also think③ it’s a tradition in China. But 40% think④ that setting off fireworks may injure others and pollute⑤ the air.
In my opinion, we can set off fireworks if we are careful and clean the rubbish after that. ⑥
批注：
①此句改为Opinions are divided on the question.更准确。
②此处缺少关系代词who。
③这里啰唆了，不如直接用and连接两个分句。
④为避免重复，建议改为argue。
⑤此处改为not only cause injuries but also pollute the environment更好。
⑥语句较为平淡生硬，建议改为 if we can be careful when setting off fireworks and clean the rubbish after that, the problem will be solved perfectly.
评语：
基本完成了题目要求的写作任务，但是文章语言过于简洁，没有进一步分析阐述正反双方的观点，自己观点的提出也十分简单、生硬。对于整篇文章而言，如果能积累更多的连词和短语来加强语篇感的话，相信表达的效果会好些。
写作改析二：
The government of Nanjing lifted the ban on fireworks during the 2006 Spring Festival. Recently our class has had a discussion about whether the citizens can set off fireworks during the Spring Festival.
Opinions in our class are divided on the question. 60% of the students agree⑦ the government’s decision. They believed the⑧ fireworks can increase the happiness⑨ during the Spring Festival. And people also have a responsibility to keep this traditional culture to go on⑩.
On the other hand, 40% think that set off{11} fireworks may cause environmental pollution. What is more, they{12} may hurt people if they aren’t carefully{13}.
In my opinion, I think{14} if we are careful and don’t buy dangerous goods, we can enjoy setting off fireworks in the place where allow{15} to do so.
批注：
⑦agree to ⑧believe ⑨add to the happy atmosphere
⑩going on {11}setting off {12}it
{13}careful {14}去掉I think {15}we are allowed
评语：
题目要求写到的要点都有进行描述，语言间注意了一定的衔接，如：And...；On the other hand，... What’s more，...可惜的是，语言的准确性方面做得不够好，错误较多。如果在以后的写作训练中，对语言的准确表达多加注意，应该会取得较好的写作成绩。
编辑/孙栎栎
近年南京市作出决定，允许居民在春节期间定点燃放烟花爆竹。这一决定受到了大多数人的欢迎，也遭到了部分人的反对。最近，你班就春节期间该不该燃放烟花爆竹进行了一场讨论，请根据以下信息写一篇短文，客观介绍你们的讨论情况，并就如何安全燃放烟花提出你的看法。
开头已给出：
The government of Nanjing lifted the ban on fireworks during the 2006 Spring Festival.
写作改析一：
The government of Nanjing lifted the ban on fireworks during the 2006 Spring Festival. Recently, our class had a discussion about whether we should be allowed to set off fireworks.
The class have been divided into two parts①. There are 60% of the students ② agree with the decision. They think that setting off fireworks can add to the festival atmosphere. They also think③ it’s a tradition in China. But 40% think④ that setting off fireworks may injure others and pollute⑤ the air.
In my opinion, we can set off fireworks if we are careful and clean the rubbish after that. ⑥
批注：
①此句改为Opinions are divided on the question.更准确。
②此处缺少关系代词who。
③这里啰唆了，不如直接用and连接两个分句。
④为避免重复，建议改为argue。
⑤此处改为not only cause injuries but also pollute the environment更好。
⑥语句较为平淡生硬，建议改为 if we can be careful when setting off fireworks and clean the rubbish after that, the problem will be solved perfectly.
评语：
基本完成了题目要求的写作任务，但是文章语言过于简洁，没有进一步分析阐述正反双方的观点，自己观点的提出也十分简单、生硬。对于整篇文章而言，如果能积累更多的连词和短语来加强语篇感的话，相信表达的效果会好些。
写作改析二：
The government of Nanjing lifted the ban on fireworks during the 2006 Spring Festival. Recently our class has had a discussion about whether the citizens can set off fireworks during the Spring Festival.
Opinions in our class are divided on the question. 60% of the students agree⑦ the government’s decision. They believed the⑧ fireworks can increase the happiness⑨ during the Spring Festival. And people also have a responsibility to keep this traditional culture to go on⑩.
On the other hand, 40% think that set off{11} fireworks may cause environmental pollution. What is more, they{12} may hurt people if they aren’t carefully{13}.
In my opinion, I think{14} if we are careful and don’t buy dangerous goods, we can enjoy setting off fireworks in the place where allow{15} to do so.
批注：
⑦agree to ⑧believe ⑨add to the happy atmosphere
⑩going on {11}setting off {12}it
{13}careful {14}去掉I think {15}we are allowed
评语：
题目要求写到的要点都有进行描述，语言间注意了一定的衔接，如：And...；On the other hand，... What’s more，...可惜的是，语言的准确性方面做得不够好，错误较多。如果在以后的写作训练中，对语言的准确表达多加注意，应该会取得较好的写作成绩。
编辑/孙栎栎