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一家著名的电脑软件公司招聘电脑软件工程师,要求应聘人员为大学计算机系毕业,成绩优异,有一定相关工作经历。
假如你是李华,男,23岁,符合应聘条件。写一封求职信应聘。
注:可适当增加细节,以使内容连贯;求职信字数120字左右;求职信开头和结尾已给出,不记入总词数。
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Li Hua, male, 23. I’m writing to apply for a position as a computer engineer in your company.
Sincerely yours
Li Hua
【素材分析】
根据常规,审题是短文写作重要的第一步。我们应该通过审题确定文体及格式、人称、时态、写作要点,然后策划表达的亮点(亮丽的句型、短语、过渡句、连接词等),最后起笔写作。
1. 文体特征:根据所给材料写一篇求职信,部分材料需要扩展,是一篇半开放的应用文写作,应注意应用文的“应用性”和表达习惯;
2. 人称特征:第一人称为主,适当兼顾其他人称,既可丰富句型,也可满足写作的需要;
3. 时态特征:现状描述(公司现状、本人条件)以现在时态为主;简述工作阅历时应用过去式。
4. 写作重点:为何求职于该公司?自己的条件或优势有哪些?
5. 亮点策划:“虚拟”彰显委婉,注重多种句型(简单句、并列句的交替使用,适当插入复合句),准确使用短语,过渡自然,表达地道。
【习作1】
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Li Hua, male, 23. I’m writing to apply for a position as a computer engineer in your company. Knowing that your company is a leader in the field of computer software, I have been longing for a position in your company. I graduated from university with a bachelor’s degree of computer and usually ranked top when I was in university which assured me adequate professional knowledge about computer. In addition, my experience made me quite familiar with computer science. Besides,my strong sense of responsibility and self-confidence will surely make me a good engineer.
Considering my ability, I am sure that I’m the one not only qualified for the job, but also extraordinary in this field. If I can get the job, I will spare no efforts to make contributions to our company.
Thanks a lot for reading my application.
Sincerely yours
Li Hua
【亮点欣赏】
1. Knowing that your company is a leader in the field of computer software, I have been longing for a position in your company. 该句恰当地使用了-ing分词作原因状语,而且巧妙地应用了现在完成进行时,既体现了较好的语言功底,也表达了对这家公司的赞扬和向往。
2. I graduated from university with a bachelor’s degree of computer and usually ranked top when I was in university which assured me adequate professional knowledge about computer. 此句介绍自己过去的情况,时态把握得很好;句子较长,传递了大量信息,语句掌控能力非同一般:使用了并列谓语(graduated和ranked top),比并列句简明;介词短语(with a bachelor’s degree of computer)代替了从句的功能,同样显得简明;定语从句(which assured me adequate professional knowledge about computer)的嵌入十分地道。
3. 全文较好地展示出求职于该公司的原因、条件、信心和决心,行文流畅,重点突出,过渡自然(in addition,besides,not only ... but also等词的应用恰到好处)。
【瑕疵探讨】
1. ... which assured me adequate professional knowledge about computer. 注意assured的用法:assure sb of sth意为“确保某人有……”, 也可以改为:which provided me with adequate professional knowledge about computer。
2. 建议结尾改为:Thanks a lot for reading my application and looking forward to your reply. 这样,既符合求职信的语言习惯,也能达到“期待回音”的效果。
【习作2】
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Li Hua, male, 23. I’m writing to apply for a position as a computer engineer in your company. As a graduate majoring in computer, I have gained enough professional knowledge which can help me a lot. I often get good grades during my study in the university and it proves that I am a good learner. As we all know, learning ability matters much in the fierce competition today. So I believe our company must be in desperate need of engineers like me. What’s more, I’ve also accumulated some working experience with which I’m able to manage my job well.
Here, I truly recommend myself to you. And if I am hired by you at last, I’ll try my best to help develop our company.
Looking forward to your early reply.
Sincerely yours
Li Hua
【亮点欣赏】
1. 该文的特点是简洁明了、自然大方;信息完整,思路清晰;语句简单却不显啰嗦,言语朴实但亮点纷呈,如majoring in,must be in desperate need of engineers,what’s more, I’ve also accumulated some working experience等使用的恰如其分;文末用语Here, I truly recommend myself to you. Looking forward to your early reply. 十分贴切。
2. As a graduate majoring in computer, I have gained enough professional knowledge which can help me a lot. 句中介词as和分词的应用,既综合地表达了多种信息,又达到了“简单、自然、地道、流畅”的效果;现在完成时(have gained)既体现出“对现在的影响和联系”,又为定语从句(which can help me a lot)时态的使用提供了方便,远比一般过去式(gained)效果好。
3. As we all know, learning ability matters much in the fierce competition today.
此句虽短,却集中了不少语言精华:As we all know是一个非限定性定语从句,体现出“共识和说服力”;分词作定语(learning ability)和谓语部分(matters much)更是一绝。
【瑕疵探讨】
1. What’s more, I’ve also accumulated some working experience with which I’m able to manage my job well.此句行文很好,但“工作经历”这一重要环节展示不够,最好改为What’s more, I’ve also taken a part-time job as an assistant computer engineer for two years and accumulated some working experience with which I’m able to manage my job well.
【范文】
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Li Hua, male, 23. I’m writing to apply for a position as a computer engineer in your company. First of all, your company is the king in the area of computer and is well-known for its development of software. It would be a great opportunity for me to start my career in the company. What’s more, my major is computer, and I have a strong interest in software.
When I was still at university, I worked hard at computer science and became a top student in my class. Besides, I have attended various computer contests and won the first prize several times, which greatly enriched my knowledge on computer. Finally, I once took a part-time job in a company for two years and gained much experience in software. I think I am fit for the position and is sure to do a good job.
I would appreciate it if you could offer me an opportunity to interview me. Looking forward to your reply.
Sincerely yours
Li Hua
假如你是李华,男,23岁,符合应聘条件。写一封求职信应聘。
注:可适当增加细节,以使内容连贯;求职信字数120字左右;求职信开头和结尾已给出,不记入总词数。
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Li Hua, male, 23. I’m writing to apply for a position as a computer engineer in your company.
Sincerely yours
Li Hua
【素材分析】
根据常规,审题是短文写作重要的第一步。我们应该通过审题确定文体及格式、人称、时态、写作要点,然后策划表达的亮点(亮丽的句型、短语、过渡句、连接词等),最后起笔写作。
1. 文体特征:根据所给材料写一篇求职信,部分材料需要扩展,是一篇半开放的应用文写作,应注意应用文的“应用性”和表达习惯;
2. 人称特征:第一人称为主,适当兼顾其他人称,既可丰富句型,也可满足写作的需要;
3. 时态特征:现状描述(公司现状、本人条件)以现在时态为主;简述工作阅历时应用过去式。
4. 写作重点:为何求职于该公司?自己的条件或优势有哪些?
5. 亮点策划:“虚拟”彰显委婉,注重多种句型(简单句、并列句的交替使用,适当插入复合句),准确使用短语,过渡自然,表达地道。
【习作1】
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Li Hua, male, 23. I’m writing to apply for a position as a computer engineer in your company. Knowing that your company is a leader in the field of computer software, I have been longing for a position in your company. I graduated from university with a bachelor’s degree of computer and usually ranked top when I was in university which assured me adequate professional knowledge about computer. In addition, my experience made me quite familiar with computer science. Besides,my strong sense of responsibility and self-confidence will surely make me a good engineer.
Considering my ability, I am sure that I’m the one not only qualified for the job, but also extraordinary in this field. If I can get the job, I will spare no efforts to make contributions to our company.
Thanks a lot for reading my application.
Sincerely yours
Li Hua
【亮点欣赏】
1. Knowing that your company is a leader in the field of computer software, I have been longing for a position in your company. 该句恰当地使用了-ing分词作原因状语,而且巧妙地应用了现在完成进行时,既体现了较好的语言功底,也表达了对这家公司的赞扬和向往。
2. I graduated from university with a bachelor’s degree of computer and usually ranked top when I was in university which assured me adequate professional knowledge about computer. 此句介绍自己过去的情况,时态把握得很好;句子较长,传递了大量信息,语句掌控能力非同一般:使用了并列谓语(graduated和ranked top),比并列句简明;介词短语(with a bachelor’s degree of computer)代替了从句的功能,同样显得简明;定语从句(which assured me adequate professional knowledge about computer)的嵌入十分地道。
3. 全文较好地展示出求职于该公司的原因、条件、信心和决心,行文流畅,重点突出,过渡自然(in addition,besides,not only ... but also等词的应用恰到好处)。
【瑕疵探讨】
1. ... which assured me adequate professional knowledge about computer. 注意assured的用法:assure sb of sth意为“确保某人有……”, 也可以改为:which provided me with adequate professional knowledge about computer。
2. 建议结尾改为:Thanks a lot for reading my application and looking forward to your reply. 这样,既符合求职信的语言习惯,也能达到“期待回音”的效果。
【习作2】
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Li Hua, male, 23. I’m writing to apply for a position as a computer engineer in your company. As a graduate majoring in computer, I have gained enough professional knowledge which can help me a lot. I often get good grades during my study in the university and it proves that I am a good learner. As we all know, learning ability matters much in the fierce competition today. So I believe our company must be in desperate need of engineers like me. What’s more, I’ve also accumulated some working experience with which I’m able to manage my job well.
Here, I truly recommend myself to you. And if I am hired by you at last, I’ll try my best to help develop our company.
Looking forward to your early reply.
Sincerely yours
Li Hua
【亮点欣赏】
1. 该文的特点是简洁明了、自然大方;信息完整,思路清晰;语句简单却不显啰嗦,言语朴实但亮点纷呈,如majoring in,must be in desperate need of engineers,what’s more, I’ve also accumulated some working experience等使用的恰如其分;文末用语Here, I truly recommend myself to you. Looking forward to your early reply. 十分贴切。
2. As a graduate majoring in computer, I have gained enough professional knowledge which can help me a lot. 句中介词as和分词的应用,既综合地表达了多种信息,又达到了“简单、自然、地道、流畅”的效果;现在完成时(have gained)既体现出“对现在的影响和联系”,又为定语从句(which can help me a lot)时态的使用提供了方便,远比一般过去式(gained)效果好。
3. As we all know, learning ability matters much in the fierce competition today.
此句虽短,却集中了不少语言精华:As we all know是一个非限定性定语从句,体现出“共识和说服力”;分词作定语(learning ability)和谓语部分(matters much)更是一绝。
【瑕疵探讨】
1. What’s more, I’ve also accumulated some working experience with which I’m able to manage my job well.此句行文很好,但“工作经历”这一重要环节展示不够,最好改为What’s more, I’ve also taken a part-time job as an assistant computer engineer for two years and accumulated some working experience with which I’m able to manage my job well.
【范文】
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Li Hua, male, 23. I’m writing to apply for a position as a computer engineer in your company. First of all, your company is the king in the area of computer and is well-known for its development of software. It would be a great opportunity for me to start my career in the company. What’s more, my major is computer, and I have a strong interest in software.
When I was still at university, I worked hard at computer science and became a top student in my class. Besides, I have attended various computer contests and won the first prize several times, which greatly enriched my knowledge on computer. Finally, I once took a part-time job in a company for two years and gained much experience in software. I think I am fit for the position and is sure to do a good job.
I would appreciate it if you could offer me an opportunity to interview me. Looking forward to your reply.
Sincerely yours
Li Hua