看不见的墙 给诗人食指的一封信

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老郭:你好!老郭,你好。这几个字孤立在台灯下泛黄的白纸上,整整两个星期,形影相吊,没有下文;我把首都汹涌澎湃的文化气息置之度外,我幽闭在出租房里,鬼鬼祟祟,宛如心怀不轨的歹徒。我想给你写一封信,不就写封信吗?可这有多难!我一次次摔门而出,不足十步,刚走出院子又引火烧身般地逃蹿回来。我没有办法;我不知道从哪儿说起,我甚至从抽屉翻出你的照片,心想这样可能会产生奇迹;没有;就像我每次兴冲冲去面对你却无法言说一样。你大概还记得我给你打过一个电话,我说,读了你的新诗集,感到非常难过,你问我为什么,我说:不知道。是什么封锁了我们?使我们如此羞愧,如此难以启齿。我们面对面坐着,我们本该倾心相谈,可事实是一次次都难以为继,三言两语后便尴尬得无地自容了;当人们围在身边,或者说当你陷落在人堆里,我看到你的虚,你的不自在,你的心不在焉,你尽力维护自己,又免为其难地招架着他人,他们满脸虔诚,关心你,恭维你,对你问寒问暖,而你又是如此的真率,不得不一一回应。这一切是多么的苍白无力,丝毫动摇不了一道看不见的墙,一道牢固的厚厚的墙,竖立在你的四周,你的一切言谈举止都成了墙内的事,你被隔绝在你不能理解的他人之外,你被阻止在不可告人的生 Hello: Guo, Hello! These words are isolated from the yellowed white paper under the lamp. For a full two weeks, there are no pictures below. I put the cultural atmosphere of the capital in a surging position. I am clandestine in a rented room and sneaky like a misconduct. Gangsters. I would like to write a letter to you, not to write a letter? But how difficult it is! I repeatedly rallied out of less than ten steps, just out of the yard and burned to escape. I have no other way; I do not know where to start, I even pulls out your photos from the drawer, thinking that this may produce miracles; no; just as I excited to face you but can not say the same. You probably remember I made a phone call to you, I said, read your new poetry collection, I feel very sad, you ask me why I said: do not know. What blocked us? Shame us so hard to tell. When we sit face to face, we should have talked about each other, but the truth is unsustainable again and again. After a few words, we feel embarrassed. When people are around, or when you fall into the crowd, I see you You are uncomfortable, your heart is absent, you try to defend yourself, but also to avoid the difficulties parry others, they face pious, care about you, compliment you, ask you warm, and you are so true , Had to respond one by one. How pale and weak all this, can not shake an invisible wall, a solid thick wall, erected around you, all your speech and deportation have become a matter inside the wall, you are isolated in you can not Beyond comprehension of others, you are prevented from coming to an unpredictable life
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