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姜经志 男，中学英语高级教师、省级骨干教师、淮北市优秀教师、中国外语学习研究会会员、《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语》特约编辑;多年来，在省级以上报刊发表文章800余篇，并有多篇论文获奖;曾主编《初中生英语满分作文大全》《英语奥林匹克》《新目标英语八年级暑假作业》，参编《高中英语知识点反馈与阅读》《初中英语题典大全》《21世纪英语学习指南》《初中英语新作文》《中学生英语水平测试》等10余册;辅导学生有30余人次在国家和省级英语竞赛中获奖。
Mom， I Miss You！
You left home after you had a fight with my father and never returned① ever since. At that time I was only two. From then on， Father began to drink and smoke every day. When I was four， he died in an accident. I have lost him.
I live with my grandparents. They have taken lots of trouble to bring me up. When I saw other children’s parents to take② them to the park， to the school or to the cinema， how I envy them！
In dreams， I always see you and hear your voice. You’re a nice woman. I throw myself to you and you take me in your arms closely. How happy I am！ But when I awake from the dreams， everything is still like what it was before. I’m a girl without mother’s love.
I asked grandma where you had been③ and when you would be back. She said she didn’t know， but she said if I were a good child， you would be back soon. So I have been studying hard. I’m one of the best students in the school. Teachers and students all like me. I have been expecting you return④ every day， but every day I get disappointed.
Mom， do you still remember me？ Do you know my wish？ Will you please be back soon？ I miss you， Mom.
1. 優点：
这是一篇情真意切的文章，文中多处使用复合句，给文章增色不少。这篇文章告诉广大父母：自己的言行要对孩子负责，不要让孩子过早失去父母的爱。
2. 需要修改的地方：
①“never returned”改为“have never returned”。“ever since”意为“从那以后”，常与现在完成时连用。
②“to take”改为“take”。“see sb. do sth.”为习惯搭配，意为“看见某人做了某事”。
③“had been”改为“had gone”。“have been to”表示“曾经去过某地（现在已不在那里了）”;“have / has gone to”意为“到某地去了（表示到了某地或正在去某地的途中）”。
④“return”改为“to return”。“expect sb. to do sth.”是习惯搭配，意为“期待某人做某事”。
3. 评分：
按中考英语作文满分20分的标准，本文修改前可得18分。
Mom， I Miss You！
You left home after you had a fight with my father and never returned① ever since. At that time I was only two. From then on， Father began to drink and smoke every day. When I was four， he died in an accident. I have lost him.
I live with my grandparents. They have taken lots of trouble to bring me up. When I saw other children’s parents to take② them to the park， to the school or to the cinema， how I envy them！
In dreams， I always see you and hear your voice. You’re a nice woman. I throw myself to you and you take me in your arms closely. How happy I am！ But when I awake from the dreams， everything is still like what it was before. I’m a girl without mother’s love.
I asked grandma where you had been③ and when you would be back. She said she didn’t know， but she said if I were a good child， you would be back soon. So I have been studying hard. I’m one of the best students in the school. Teachers and students all like me. I have been expecting you return④ every day， but every day I get disappointed.
Mom， do you still remember me？ Do you know my wish？ Will you please be back soon？ I miss you， Mom.
1. 優点：
这是一篇情真意切的文章，文中多处使用复合句，给文章增色不少。这篇文章告诉广大父母：自己的言行要对孩子负责，不要让孩子过早失去父母的爱。
2. 需要修改的地方：
①“never returned”改为“have never returned”。“ever since”意为“从那以后”，常与现在完成时连用。
②“to take”改为“take”。“see sb. do sth.”为习惯搭配，意为“看见某人做了某事”。
③“had been”改为“had gone”。“have been to”表示“曾经去过某地（现在已不在那里了）”;“have / has gone to”意为“到某地去了（表示到了某地或正在去某地的途中）”。
④“return”改为“to return”。“expect sb. to do sth.”是习惯搭配，意为“期待某人做某事”。
3. 评分：
按中考英语作文满分20分的标准，本文修改前可得18分。