FUNNYSTORIES

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  One day Wood bought a donkey(驴) in the market; but while he was taking it home,two thieves followed him. One of them took the rope from the donkey?蒺s neck and tied it round his friend?蒺s neck. Then he went away with the donkey.
  When Wood got home,he turned and saw the young man. He was very surprised.“Where is my donkey?”he asked angrily.
  “I am very sorry,”said the thief,“but once I said some very bad things to my mother,and she changed me into a donkey. But because a good man bought me,I am now a man again!Thank you!”
  Wood untied(替……解开绳套) and said,“Go!And never say bad things to your mother again!”
  The next day,Wood saw the same donkey in the market again!The other thief was selling it.
  Wood went to it and said into its ear,“Young man,some people will never learn!”
  Wood wanted to buy some new clothes,so he went to a shop. First he asked for some trousers and put them on,but then he took them off and gave them back to the shopkeeper and said,“No,give me a coat instead of these.”
  The man gave him a coat and said,“This one costs the same as the trousers.”Wood took the coat and walked out of the shop with it. The shopkeeper ran after him and said,“You have not paid for the coat!”
  “But I gave you the trousers for the coat,”said Wood.“They cost the same as the coat,didn?蒺t they?”
  “Yes,”said the shopkeeper.“But you didn?蒺t pay for the trousers either!”
  “Of course I didn?蒺t,”answered Wood.“I did not take them. I am not stupid!Nobody gives things back and then pay for them!”
  One day,the boys of Wood?蒺s village said to him,“You have a fat sheep. Will you invite us to a party to eat it with you?”
  Wood did not want the boys to eat his sheep,so he said,“It is not fat enough yet.”
  “But have you not heard?”they said.“The world is going to end tomorrow,so the sheep will never get fat.”
  Wood was getting tired of this,so he said,“All right,boys,we will have a picnic(野餐) tomorrow,and eat the sheep.”
  The next morning,they all went to the river. The boys took off their clothes and jumped into the water,and Wood killed the sheep. When the boys came out,they didn?蒺t find their clothes.
  “Where are our clothes,Wood?”they asked.
  “Oh,”he answered,“I made the fire to cook the sheep with your clothes. You will not need them again. The world is going to end today,don?蒺t you remember?”
  Whenever it rained,water came through Wood?蒺s roof. So one day he got a ladder(梯子),climbed up on to the roof and began to mend it. It was quite difficult and dangerous work.
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