早梅,孤单吗?

• 作 者: 李潇雪
• 机 构: 山东省阳信县第一中学高中2007级14班,
• 出 处: 湖北招生考试
• 发表日期: 2009年20期
• 关键词: 令尹子兰 上官大夫 明于治乱 爱国热忱 吾将上下而求索 路漫漫其修远兮 令人痛心 江中 一腔热血 上下求索

编者推荐:从“早”的角度写屈原,编者所见,本文作者是第一人!卒章上升到“不孤单”的高度,立足现实评说古人。此文还可锦上添花:第一,材料还要更具个性,补充屈原“先知先觉”的独特细节。第二,语句还要仔细斟酌——第四自然段中的“即使”应改为“虽然”;第八自然段中的“花朵”宜改为“早梅”;第九自然段中的“不久”应改为“后来”;第十自然段中的问号宜改为叹号,并删除“吗”字。

Editor’s Choice: From the “early” point of view to write Qu Yuan, editors see, the author is the first person! Death Chapter rose to “not alone ” height, based on the reality of the ancients. This article can be icing on the cake: First, the material should be more personalized, to supplement the unique details of Qu Yuan “Prophet ”. Second, the sentence should be carefully considered - the fourth paragraph in the natural paragraph should be replaced by Although “” in the eighth paragraph should be changed to “early plum” In the ninth paragraph, “” should be replaced by “” and “later” in the ninth paragraph; the question mark in the tenth paragraph should be replaced by an exclamation point and the word “?” Deleted.