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希望取悦他人,以便得到别人的认同、欣赏,或者爱,这是每个人的主要心理空间,也是人之常情。但对某些人来说,取悦他人本身变成了目的。还有的人,为了达到目的,甚至把自己真正的性格掩饰起来。他们很少会对自己已经取得的成功感到满足,所以常常把希望寄托在下一次奇遇上。从这个角度讲,想取悦他人的这种不可平息的需求和医学上的过度饥饿症颇有些相似。他们对自己的形象评价不高,并为此感到十分痛苦,于是便追求一种在心理学上称之为“纳尔西斯式再保险”的东西。其实,那些不惜一切代价取悦他人的人,不过是要掩盖他们的忧虑,或者面对他人时的羞怯。这也就是我们所说的“规避行为”。取悦他人有时会变成一种强有力的工具,一种更好地控制别人的手段。在任何情况下,希望取悦别人都是对内心冲突或者缺憾进行修补的尝试。如果有这种心理障碍的人们不能够自己解决这些问题,最好到心理医生那里去寻求一些比较专业的帮助。下面的三个案例都是真实的,考虑到当事人的隐私权,我们把他们的情况报告给读者朋友们的时候改变了他们的姓名。通过他们的故事,我们真诚地希望,朋友们在追求成功的同时,更要注意使自己有
Hope to please others in order to get recognition, appreciation, or love of others, this is the main psychological space for each person, but also human nature. But for some people, pleasing others themselves becomes a goal. Still others, even to their own ends, conceal their true character. Few of them are content with what they have achieved, so they often place their hopes on the next adventures. From this perspective, the irreconcilable need to please others is rather similar to medical over-hunger. They were not appraised of their own image and felt very painful for this, and they pursued something psychologically called “Narcismat-style reinsurance.” In fact, those who please others at all costs are merely trying to hide their anxiety or shyness in the face of others. This is what we call “circumvention”. Pleasing others can sometimes become a powerful tool, a means of better controlling others. In any case, hoping to please others is an attempt to repair inner conflicts or shortcomings. If people with this mental disorder are not able to solve these problems themselves, it is best to go to a psychiatrist for some more professional help. The following three cases are true, taking into account the client’s privacy, we changed their name when we reported their situation to our readers’ friends. Through their stories, we sincerely hope that friends, while pursuing success, should pay more attention to making themselves