集体评改三年级习作《吃面》

• 作 者: 秦克波
• 机 构: 安徽省马鞍山市和县乌江镇中心小学,
• 出 处: 新作文(小学作文创新教学)
• 发表日期: 2015年Z2期
• 关键词: 对我说 林杰 班集体 评课 近义词 原文内容 人物对话 语言描写 心理刻画 心理描写

作文讲评课上,三(2)班集体评改林杰同学的习作《吃面》,秦老师提前把待评习作抄录在黑板上:今天早上,妈妈对我说,你吃不吃面?我说不,我又想了想说,要是我吃面的话,没准能看电视,我又说吃面,又叫妈妈装少一点。我把面吃了一大半,我又对妈妈说我吃不掉了。她还叫我吃,我又对妈妈说,我真的是吃不掉了,她生气地说今天就放你一马。我又问妈妈能不能给我看电视她二话不说就送我上学去了。秦老师先通读了全文,最后一句一口气读完后,假装

Writing comment class, three (2) class collective assessment of Lin Jie’s classmate’s exercise “eat noodles”, Qin teacher in advance to be copied for review on the blackboard: This morning, my mother said to me, you eat eat noodles? No, I thought again, if I had to eat, chances were I could watch TV, and then I said to eat noodles, a little less for my mother. I ate half pasta, I said to my mother I can not eat it. She also told me to eat, I told my mother again, I really can not afford to eat, and she said angrily today put you a horse. I asked my mom if I could watch TV and then sent me to school. Qin first read the full text, the last sentence of breath after reading, pretend