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摘 要：本文着眼于“The Color of the Sky” 与其译文的对比研究，在“意义相符，功能相似”的翻译原则指导下对译文进行了分析和评价。
Abstract:This paper focuses on the comparative study between the source text “The Color of the Sky” and its Chinese version. Analysis and evaluation are made under the guidance of the principle of “Correspondence in meaning and similarity in function”.
关键词:连贯；四字成语；忠实；审美
Key Words:coherence， four-character phrase ， faithfulness， aesthetic.
In the 18th century an English theoretician Alexander F. Tytler introduced the three laws of translation in his essay “On the Principles of Translation”: 1.The translation should give a complete transcript of the ideas of the original work. 2. The style and manner of writing should be of the same character as that of the original. 3. A translation should have all the ease of the original composition. In a word, the translation must be in conformity with the thought, feeling and style of the original. Later on, the greatest representative of sociosemiotics Eugene A. Nida believes translating consists in reproducing in the receptor language the closest natural equivalent of the source language message, first in terms of meaning and secondly in terms of style. Because of the cultural difference between source language and target language, semantic zero and loss of function is inevitable. The translator must strive for equivalence rather than identity. This article would like to observe the principle “correspondence in meaning and similarity in function” in translation criticism.
The source text “The Color of the Sky” is written by Alfred Russel Wallace who is a British naturalist in the 19th century. In this article, he not only has described the splendid color of the sky, but also expressed strong admiration for the magic of nature. Besides informative and expressive function, it also has aesthetic function. First, it is very beautiful for rich vocabulary and vivid description: “The most pure and intense blue”, “yellow”, “green”, “orange-colored”, “pure red” “wondrous combinations of tints” “gorgeous every-changing colors”. They create a brilliant picture of the sky in front of our eyes. Secondly, this article contains one single paragraph in which there are a variety of sentence patterns and accurate expressions. The form itself is like the sky. The sky is tedious through the plain surface, however it is a display of gorgeous ever-changing tints. Therefore the form is the best embodiment of the content. Thirdly, plenty of connectives such as “First”, “Then”, “Finally”, and “Thus” are used to secure coherence in structure.
The Chinese version of “The Color of the Sky” was translated by Song Honghua, a young man in his twenties, the First Prize Winner in the Third Han Suying Youth Translation Contest in 1991.He understands the original thoroughly and profoundly, then creatively and accurately reproduces it with his outstanding translating ability and Chinese proficiency. His translation is as expressive as that of the source text. It is very aesthetic with the usage of four-character phrases such as “晴空万里” “喜不自胜” “瞬息万变” “一览无余” “赞不绝口” and so on. The sentences are very coherent so that the translation read as an integral whole.
The comparative study between the source text and the Chinese version will be made under the guidance of the principle “Correspondence in meaning and similarity in function”. The original text has: 1. Informative function. It describes the beauty of the color of the sky. 2. Expressive function. Through the vivid description and the implications between the lines, the writer’s powerful emotion for the unsurpassable natural creation is apparent. 3. Aesthetic function. The vocabulary is rich and accurate. The sentences are well-knitted and full of variety. In addition, figures of speech are used to add charm to the expression. The translation is well-done for its’ thorough comprehension of the sense and the spirit of the whole text and translating it as it is.
First of all, the translator makes full advantage of the resemblance in Chinese and English to recreate the linguistic meaning by using the similar sentence-patterns and structures. “All this unsurpassable glory we owe to - dust!”而我们之所以能领略如此无与伦比的美景,全应归功于- 尘埃矣。The translation is done word by word, even retaining the dash. In the following example, some changes are made according to Chinese usage. However the meaning of the original is still maintained. “If we look at the sky on a perfectly fine summer’s day we shall find that blue colour is the most pure and intense overhead, and when looking high up in a direction opposite to the sun.”晴空万里的夏日， 如果我们观察一下天空，则背向太阳，极目仰望，就会发现头顶上空的蓝色最纯洁，最浓郁。
Besides, in the course of translation, comprehension is the prerequisite for expression On the basis of thorough comprehension, Song Zhenghua successfully finds the exact expression for the original words.Example 1, in the sentence “… we shall find that the blue colour is the most pure and intensive overhead”,“pure” and “intensive” are well translated into “纯净”，“浓郁” which vividly describe the beauty of the colour. Example 2: “the delights of the beholder and the despair of the artist.” The translation is “观赏者固然赏心悦目，丹青手只好只叹莫如”。If we change it into “ 观赏者固然高兴，丹青手只好绝望”, the translation becomes less poetic. Example 3: in “all this unsurpassable glory”, “ unsurpassable” is turned into “ 无与伦比” rather than “不可超越”. It is very appropriate to describe the noun “glory”. Example 4:“With every change in the attitude of the display…” the first part is translated into “随着太阳的缓缓西坠”. It is very faithful to pragmatic meaning and imagination. Obviously the translator’s words are as expressive as the original. Therefore, translation keeps the beauty in expression and manifests the profound feelings.
Finally, the aesthetic function is fully reflected in the target text. 1. the translation reproduces the charm in coherent structure. The original title is “The Color of the Sky”. It just has one paragraph in which all the sentences are well-connected. So is the case with the translation. It also has one paragraph. The sentences are translated sentence by sentence. As a result, the target text remains the coherent structure of the original. Besides, the connectives in the source text such as “owing to”, “first”, “then”, “finally” are all translated into Chinese to achieve coherence. 2. Some figures of the speech are used in the original text. The translator tries to keep them in the Chinese version. Example 1: The two clauses “… all those wondrous combinations of tints and those gorgeous ever-changing colors” and “ who have the advantage of an uninterrupted view to the west and who are accustomed to watch for those” are written in antitheses. “各种奇异的色调班驳陆离，许多绚丽的色彩变化万千” and“任何人只要有幸 … 只要有心 … . ”Example 2: “ the delight of the beholder and the despair of the artist ” 观赏者固然赏心悦目，丹青手只好自叹不及。The translations are also in antithesis. Besides antithesis, repetition is used very frequently in the original. “The great thickness of the atmosphere” and “the high strata of air” have appeared six to seven times in such a short article. By repetition, the writer emphasizes they’re the main cause of the unsurpassable glory of nature. The target text tries to retain the repetition. 3. The original text is very formal. Most of the sentences are long and complex, some words are formal such as “vicinity”, “wondrous” and “gorgeous”. In the target text, in order to reproduce the style, Song Zhenghua keeps the long sentences and prefer to use a lot of four-character phrases. For example, “晴空万里”, “无与伦比”, “五光十色”, “广度不均 密度各异”。
However, strictly speaking, there are still four points which may be improved. Firstly, “the delight of the beholder and the despair of the artist” is written not only in antithesis but also in alliteration. “赏心悦目” and “自叹莫如” are very balanced for the four- character phrases. However, they can’t reflect the alliteration. Second, “ Those wondrous combination of tints” is translated into “各种奇异的色调班驳陆离”. “斑驳陆离” isn’t the best expression for “wondrous” because it indicates the light under the shadow of tree; Three, as for “who are accustomed to watch for those not infrequent exhibitions of nature’s kaleidoscopic color painting”, the translation “只要有心观看大自然不时展现的那一幅幅瞬息万变的彩画” isn’t smooth in Chinese and the word “ kaleidoscopic” isn’t well translated. It’s better to replace it with “只要有心观看大自然不时展现的万花筒般的画卷”. Four, “if we look at the sky on a perfectly fine summer’s day we should find that the blue color is the most blue and intense overhead.”。This translation “晴空万里的夏日，如果我们观察天空，且背向太阳，极目仰望，就会发现头顶上空的蓝色最纯净、最浓郁”is wordy. It is better to be translated into 晴朗的夏日，我们背向太阳，极目仰望天空，就会发现头顶上空的蓝色最纯净、最浓郁。
Because of cultural difference in English and Chinese, defects are unavoidable. However, one flaw cannot obscure the splendor of the jade. It is still a well-done translation. The Chinese version not only conveys the thoughts and feelings of the author, but also retains the charm of the source text.
Bibliography:
1．陈宏薇,《新实用汉译英教程》[M]．武汉：湖北教育出版社，1996.
2．刘重德，《文学翻译十讲》[M]．北京：中国对外翻译出版公司，1998.
3．古今明，《英汉翻译基础》[M].上海：上海外语教育出版社，1998.
作者简介：覃晓霞，武汉科技大学外国语学院
Abstract:This paper focuses on the comparative study between the source text “The Color of the Sky” and its Chinese version. Analysis and evaluation are made under the guidance of the principle of “Correspondence in meaning and similarity in function”.
关键词:连贯；四字成语；忠实；审美
Key Words:coherence， four-character phrase ， faithfulness， aesthetic.
In the 18th century an English theoretician Alexander F. Tytler introduced the three laws of translation in his essay “On the Principles of Translation”: 1.The translation should give a complete transcript of the ideas of the original work. 2. The style and manner of writing should be of the same character as that of the original. 3. A translation should have all the ease of the original composition. In a word, the translation must be in conformity with the thought, feeling and style of the original. Later on, the greatest representative of sociosemiotics Eugene A. Nida believes translating consists in reproducing in the receptor language the closest natural equivalent of the source language message, first in terms of meaning and secondly in terms of style. Because of the cultural difference between source language and target language, semantic zero and loss of function is inevitable. The translator must strive for equivalence rather than identity. This article would like to observe the principle “correspondence in meaning and similarity in function” in translation criticism.
The source text “The Color of the Sky” is written by Alfred Russel Wallace who is a British naturalist in the 19th century. In this article, he not only has described the splendid color of the sky, but also expressed strong admiration for the magic of nature. Besides informative and expressive function, it also has aesthetic function. First, it is very beautiful for rich vocabulary and vivid description: “The most pure and intense blue”, “yellow”, “green”, “orange-colored”, “pure red” “wondrous combinations of tints” “gorgeous every-changing colors”. They create a brilliant picture of the sky in front of our eyes. Secondly, this article contains one single paragraph in which there are a variety of sentence patterns and accurate expressions. The form itself is like the sky. The sky is tedious through the plain surface, however it is a display of gorgeous ever-changing tints. Therefore the form is the best embodiment of the content. Thirdly, plenty of connectives such as “First”, “Then”, “Finally”, and “Thus” are used to secure coherence in structure.
The Chinese version of “The Color of the Sky” was translated by Song Honghua, a young man in his twenties, the First Prize Winner in the Third Han Suying Youth Translation Contest in 1991.He understands the original thoroughly and profoundly, then creatively and accurately reproduces it with his outstanding translating ability and Chinese proficiency. His translation is as expressive as that of the source text. It is very aesthetic with the usage of four-character phrases such as “晴空万里” “喜不自胜” “瞬息万变” “一览无余” “赞不绝口” and so on. The sentences are very coherent so that the translation read as an integral whole.
The comparative study between the source text and the Chinese version will be made under the guidance of the principle “Correspondence in meaning and similarity in function”. The original text has: 1. Informative function. It describes the beauty of the color of the sky. 2. Expressive function. Through the vivid description and the implications between the lines, the writer’s powerful emotion for the unsurpassable natural creation is apparent. 3. Aesthetic function. The vocabulary is rich and accurate. The sentences are well-knitted and full of variety. In addition, figures of speech are used to add charm to the expression. The translation is well-done for its’ thorough comprehension of the sense and the spirit of the whole text and translating it as it is.
First of all, the translator makes full advantage of the resemblance in Chinese and English to recreate the linguistic meaning by using the similar sentence-patterns and structures. “All this unsurpassable glory we owe to - dust!”而我们之所以能领略如此无与伦比的美景,全应归功于- 尘埃矣。The translation is done word by word, even retaining the dash. In the following example, some changes are made according to Chinese usage. However the meaning of the original is still maintained. “If we look at the sky on a perfectly fine summer’s day we shall find that blue colour is the most pure and intense overhead, and when looking high up in a direction opposite to the sun.”晴空万里的夏日， 如果我们观察一下天空，则背向太阳，极目仰望，就会发现头顶上空的蓝色最纯洁，最浓郁。
Besides, in the course of translation, comprehension is the prerequisite for expression On the basis of thorough comprehension, Song Zhenghua successfully finds the exact expression for the original words.Example 1, in the sentence “… we shall find that the blue colour is the most pure and intensive overhead”,“pure” and “intensive” are well translated into “纯净”，“浓郁” which vividly describe the beauty of the colour. Example 2: “the delights of the beholder and the despair of the artist.” The translation is “观赏者固然赏心悦目，丹青手只好只叹莫如”。If we change it into “ 观赏者固然高兴，丹青手只好绝望”, the translation becomes less poetic. Example 3: in “all this unsurpassable glory”, “ unsurpassable” is turned into “ 无与伦比” rather than “不可超越”. It is very appropriate to describe the noun “glory”. Example 4:“With every change in the attitude of the display…” the first part is translated into “随着太阳的缓缓西坠”. It is very faithful to pragmatic meaning and imagination. Obviously the translator’s words are as expressive as the original. Therefore, translation keeps the beauty in expression and manifests the profound feelings.
Finally, the aesthetic function is fully reflected in the target text. 1. the translation reproduces the charm in coherent structure. The original title is “The Color of the Sky”. It just has one paragraph in which all the sentences are well-connected. So is the case with the translation. It also has one paragraph. The sentences are translated sentence by sentence. As a result, the target text remains the coherent structure of the original. Besides, the connectives in the source text such as “owing to”, “first”, “then”, “finally” are all translated into Chinese to achieve coherence. 2. Some figures of the speech are used in the original text. The translator tries to keep them in the Chinese version. Example 1: The two clauses “… all those wondrous combinations of tints and those gorgeous ever-changing colors” and “ who have the advantage of an uninterrupted view to the west and who are accustomed to watch for those” are written in antitheses. “各种奇异的色调班驳陆离，许多绚丽的色彩变化万千” and“任何人只要有幸 … 只要有心 … . ”Example 2: “ the delight of the beholder and the despair of the artist ” 观赏者固然赏心悦目，丹青手只好自叹不及。The translations are also in antithesis. Besides antithesis, repetition is used very frequently in the original. “The great thickness of the atmosphere” and “the high strata of air” have appeared six to seven times in such a short article. By repetition, the writer emphasizes they’re the main cause of the unsurpassable glory of nature. The target text tries to retain the repetition. 3. The original text is very formal. Most of the sentences are long and complex, some words are formal such as “vicinity”, “wondrous” and “gorgeous”. In the target text, in order to reproduce the style, Song Zhenghua keeps the long sentences and prefer to use a lot of four-character phrases. For example, “晴空万里”, “无与伦比”, “五光十色”, “广度不均 密度各异”。
However, strictly speaking, there are still four points which may be improved. Firstly, “the delight of the beholder and the despair of the artist” is written not only in antithesis but also in alliteration. “赏心悦目” and “自叹莫如” are very balanced for the four- character phrases. However, they can’t reflect the alliteration. Second, “ Those wondrous combination of tints” is translated into “各种奇异的色调班驳陆离”. “斑驳陆离” isn’t the best expression for “wondrous” because it indicates the light under the shadow of tree; Three, as for “who are accustomed to watch for those not infrequent exhibitions of nature’s kaleidoscopic color painting”, the translation “只要有心观看大自然不时展现的那一幅幅瞬息万变的彩画” isn’t smooth in Chinese and the word “ kaleidoscopic” isn’t well translated. It’s better to replace it with “只要有心观看大自然不时展现的万花筒般的画卷”. Four, “if we look at the sky on a perfectly fine summer’s day we should find that the blue color is the most blue and intense overhead.”。This translation “晴空万里的夏日，如果我们观察天空，且背向太阳，极目仰望，就会发现头顶上空的蓝色最纯净、最浓郁”is wordy. It is better to be translated into 晴朗的夏日，我们背向太阳，极目仰望天空，就会发现头顶上空的蓝色最纯净、最浓郁。
Because of cultural difference in English and Chinese, defects are unavoidable. However, one flaw cannot obscure the splendor of the jade. It is still a well-done translation. The Chinese version not only conveys the thoughts and feelings of the author, but also retains the charm of the source text.
Bibliography:
1．陈宏薇,《新实用汉译英教程》[M]．武汉：湖北教育出版社，1996.
2．刘重德，《文学翻译十讲》[M]．北京：中国对外翻译出版公司，1998.
3．古今明，《英汉翻译基础》[M].上海：上海外语教育出版社，1998.
作者简介：覃晓霞，武汉科技大学外国语学院