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在写《别了,母校》这篇作文时,不少同学描写自己对母校的留恋之情。例一：我的手微微战栗,小心地把毕业证书攥在手中。心头无比激动,心里轻轻地呼唤着：“别了,母校……”例二：我站在曾呆过的教室门前,望着里面的桌子、板凳、黑板,这一切都要和自己分手了,望着想着,眼角里不知不觉渗出小泪珠。这两个例子中的语句通顺,表达的意思也很明白,但缺少感染力,原因何在呢？问题在于描写粗疏,没能充分地把自己的所见所想表达出来,这样也就不能深刻地展示出人物的精神世界和思想品质。例一中“心头无比激动”很不具体,因而下文的“呼唤”就显得很勉强。这段是写发毕业证书这一难忘时刻,当时的场景、气氛不由得使“我”兴奋、激动。如果把这心情要言不烦地精确表述出来,则文章会生动得多,感人得多。比如,可以插入这样几句：“立时,我脉搏一阵激跳,面颊涌上灼人的热潮。
When I wrote “Better, Alma Mater,” this essay, many students described their love for their alma mater. Example 1: My hand shuddered slightly and carefully put my diploma in my hand. My heart was very excited, and my heart gently called out: “No, my alma mater...” Example 2: I stood in front of the classroom where I had once stood, and looked at the tables, benches, and blackboards inside. All this had to break up with myself. Then, looking at it, I could see little tears in my eyes. The sentences in the two examples are fluent and the meaning of the expression is also very clear. But what is the reason for the lack of appeal? The problem lies in the description of the inconsistency. It fails to fully express what one sees and thinks. Therefore, it cannot profoundly demonstrate the character’s spiritual world and ideological quality. In Case 1 the “extreme excitement in the heart” is not specific, so the “call” in the following is reluctant. This is an unforgettable moment to write a diploma. The scene and atmosphere at that time could not help but make “I” excited and excited. If you express this mood accurately and without difficulty, the article will be much more vivid and moving. For example, you can insert such phrases: "At once, I burst into a pulse, and my cheeks scorched.