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“You are the only one who can make yourself happy.” We have all heard that so many times in our lives.“你是唯一能让自己幸福的人。”生活中我们都不只一次地听过这句话。
There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won’t allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick ... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.
However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile that is happiness. You know those times when you can’t wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels ... Your angels, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.
As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us) ... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our Happiness.
So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. This might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.
How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn’t like and set about making changes. It doesn’t have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can’t afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven’t had a vacation for awhile and just can’t afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.
Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.
You may be saying, “Sure, that sounds so easy but ...”. Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.
If your unhappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.
Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don’t like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!
生活总有让人受不了的时候。实际上,你周围的人对你目前的情绪影响重大。一大早孩子就耍脾气;狗狗昨晚就把屋里弄得一团糟;上班路上的堵车让你欲速不达;终于到了办公室,同事却打电话来请病假……这些事情都可能影响你这一整天的幸福指数。
然而,幸福不同于心情和稍纵即逝的情绪。幸福是纵览自己生活的整幅图景时流露出的会心微笑,因为知道会有这样的时刻:孩子们不愿按时睡觉,可是过会儿再去查看时,他们已经天使一般睡得很香很甜,他们是你的天使,看到这些你感动得都要掉泪了。此刻,你几乎都想不起来刚才的愤怒了。这就是幸福。
生命不息,变化不止。渐渐地,我们认清了自己,(谁成就了我们),那是我们应该担起的责任。我们知道一时的感激或愤怒只能短时间内抚平或激化我们的情绪。对自己的整体认识才是决定我们心境的因素。而幸福正取决于我们的心境。
那么,如何控制情绪并找到通往幸福之路呢?这个问题看来极为重要。与此相关的书数不胜数。你可以去读书,按照书中的指示练习,最后发现自己还是一塌糊涂;你也可以在余下的日子里回味之前的生活,找出那些带给你幸福的东西,这也许会花费更多的时间和精力,而实际上却愈感挫败。
这样做试试吧。不妨审视自我,找出自己的喜好,并据此做出改变。大刀阔斧地变革并无必要。比如,你不喜欢现在的房子却无力搬迁,不妨重新粉刷起居室,或在餐桌上放瓶鲜花。再比如,你很久没有度假,对于腐败旅游又囊中羞涩,那么去野营吧。
你的问题可能更为私密或独特。易怒?学习瑜伽或冥想。婚姻不和谐?咨询顾问。孩子不听话?找出他们主要的问题,制定纠正措施并严格执行。
你可能会说,“说起来容易,但是……”。当然,任何事情都是说起来容易做起来难。但是在很大程度上,你认为事情有多难,它就有多难。有时候,你夸大了事情的难度。
如果你的不幸源于你无法掌控的形势,寻找其它方法来补偿。如果手头非常紧,近期又不太可能有飞来横财的话,那就选择便宜一点的娱乐方式,比如在后院打球,公园里野餐,躺在卧室里边看电影边吃爆米花和零食, 这些都可以替代一晚上奢侈的外出消费。如果你的问题非常严重以至于感到浑身乏力、无计可施,那就赶紧去寻求专业帮助吧。
要不然,看着镜子,高兴起来吧。如果不喜欢自己看到的,试着改变。解决问题就是这么简单!
There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won’t allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick ... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.
However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile that is happiness. You know those times when you can’t wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels ... Your angels, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.
As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us) ... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our Happiness.
So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. This might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.
How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn’t like and set about making changes. It doesn’t have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can’t afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven’t had a vacation for awhile and just can’t afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.
Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.
You may be saying, “Sure, that sounds so easy but ...”. Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.
If your unhappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.
Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don’t like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!
生活总有让人受不了的时候。实际上,你周围的人对你目前的情绪影响重大。一大早孩子就耍脾气;狗狗昨晚就把屋里弄得一团糟;上班路上的堵车让你欲速不达;终于到了办公室,同事却打电话来请病假……这些事情都可能影响你这一整天的幸福指数。
然而,幸福不同于心情和稍纵即逝的情绪。幸福是纵览自己生活的整幅图景时流露出的会心微笑,因为知道会有这样的时刻:孩子们不愿按时睡觉,可是过会儿再去查看时,他们已经天使一般睡得很香很甜,他们是你的天使,看到这些你感动得都要掉泪了。此刻,你几乎都想不起来刚才的愤怒了。这就是幸福。
生命不息,变化不止。渐渐地,我们认清了自己,(谁成就了我们),那是我们应该担起的责任。我们知道一时的感激或愤怒只能短时间内抚平或激化我们的情绪。对自己的整体认识才是决定我们心境的因素。而幸福正取决于我们的心境。
那么,如何控制情绪并找到通往幸福之路呢?这个问题看来极为重要。与此相关的书数不胜数。你可以去读书,按照书中的指示练习,最后发现自己还是一塌糊涂;你也可以在余下的日子里回味之前的生活,找出那些带给你幸福的东西,这也许会花费更多的时间和精力,而实际上却愈感挫败。
这样做试试吧。不妨审视自我,找出自己的喜好,并据此做出改变。大刀阔斧地变革并无必要。比如,你不喜欢现在的房子却无力搬迁,不妨重新粉刷起居室,或在餐桌上放瓶鲜花。再比如,你很久没有度假,对于腐败旅游又囊中羞涩,那么去野营吧。
你的问题可能更为私密或独特。易怒?学习瑜伽或冥想。婚姻不和谐?咨询顾问。孩子不听话?找出他们主要的问题,制定纠正措施并严格执行。
你可能会说,“说起来容易,但是……”。当然,任何事情都是说起来容易做起来难。但是在很大程度上,你认为事情有多难,它就有多难。有时候,你夸大了事情的难度。
如果你的不幸源于你无法掌控的形势,寻找其它方法来补偿。如果手头非常紧,近期又不太可能有飞来横财的话,那就选择便宜一点的娱乐方式,比如在后院打球,公园里野餐,躺在卧室里边看电影边吃爆米花和零食, 这些都可以替代一晚上奢侈的外出消费。如果你的问题非常严重以至于感到浑身乏力、无计可施,那就赶紧去寻求专业帮助吧。
要不然,看着镜子,高兴起来吧。如果不喜欢自己看到的,试着改变。解决问题就是这么简单!