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病文展示那暖暖的豆浆牵动我的情思湖北松滋南海中学庞梅欣家中阳台上有一方陈旧土气的石磨,与室内现代的装修风格显得格格不入,可每每闻到那股从阳台飘来的甜香却牵动着我的情思。(倒叙开头,巧用对比,巧妙地引起下文。但最后一句表意不准,需要稍作修改。)每天清晨我都会喝到奶奶为我磨的豆浆。看着白花花的豆浆顺着石磨向下流淌,那时觉得豆浆是天底下最美味可口的饮品,喝下去真是美滋滋的。(“清晨”“那时”时间交代不确切,使得叙事不明确,并且其语言表达情味不浓,缺乏感染力。)每天醒来,首先飘进来的一定是豆浆浓郁的香
The text shows that the warm soy milk affects my feelings Hubei Songzi Nanhai Middle School Pomeranian home balcony on one side rustic stone grind, and indoor modern decoration style is out of tune, you can often smell the stock from the balcony floating sweet However, it affects my love. (At the beginning of the flashback, clever use of contrast, clever to cause the following, but the last sentence is not allowed, you will need to make some changes.) Every morning I will drink my grandmother milk for me. Watching the white flowered soy milk down the stone flowing down, then feel that milk is the most delicious under the sun and drink, drink it really brisk. ( “Morning ” “At that time ” time confused, making the narrative is not clear, and its language expression is not rich, the lack of appeal.) Wake up every day, first floating in must be rich in soy milk