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家庭治疗师不仅仅关注家庭的问题是什么,还要关注家庭与问题共存的模式。当我们要着手解决一个缠绕家庭很久的问题时,首先需要知道家庭做过哪些解决的尝试,谁决定解决问题的方式,维持了多久,效果如何。尤其要清楚家庭曾经有过的就诊经历,找过什么样的医生,做了什么样的治疗,有过什么样的变化。了解家庭在哪些方面满意,哪些方面不满意,现在为什么要换治疗师,希望新的治疗师做什么。许多家庭对心理医生存在一些非理性要求,以为自家的问题经心理医生看后应该有明显改善,其实心理医生只能给家庭提供一些新的视觉,新的分析方法,新的关系模式或互动模式,真正改不改变还得由着家庭自己。同样,许多心理治疗师也会过于乐观地心存幻想,以为自己会比其他的心理医生能力强,能给家庭更好的指导。其实,如果某一类心理治疗方法已经证明对家庭无效,你重复一千遍,结果还是无效,不管你是张三还是李四。
Home therapists do not just focus on the problems of the family, but also on the patterns of family and problem coexistence. When we are going to tackle a long-running problem, we first need to know what attempts families have made, who has decided on how to solve the problem, how long it has been maintained, and how effective it has been. In particular, it is necessary to know clearly what kind of treatment the family has ever had, what kind of doctor they have been looking for, what kind of treatment they have done and what changes have taken place. Understand what the family is satisfied with, which aspects are not satisfied, why change psychotherapists now, and hope the new therapists do. Many families have some irrational demands on psychologists that their own problems should be significantly improved after they are seen by psychologists. In fact, psychologists can only provide families with some new visual methods, new analytical methods, new relationship modes or interactive modes Really change does not have to change by the family themselves. Similarly, many psychotherapists are over optimistic about their fantasies, thinking they will be better able than other psychiatrists to give their families better guidance. In fact, if a certain type of psychological treatment has proved ineffective to the family, you repeat it a thousand times, and the result is still invalid, whether you are Zhang San or Li Si.